Tag Archives: relationship

Voice Detection 

04 Monday Sep 2017

Posted by in Spirituality

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I recently had a conversation about hearing the voice of God. The person was doubtful and scoffed at the idea that God speaks to us and that we can discern it. Can we?

It’s an interesting question because many people believe they hear from God. Personally, I had an experience where I sensed God call me to ministry. It was definitely out of the ordinary and it didn’t feel like I was just talking with myself. In the Bible, there are numerous stories where people hear from God. They seem to be really clear concerning who they are talking with.

My thinking is that, the more time we spend getting to know God, through the Bible and prayer, the more we can recognize his voice when he speaks. The person that I was chatting with scoffed at that, too.

Do you know the musical “Hamilton”? We recently discovered the soundtrack and as we’ve been travelling a lot over the last year, we have listened to the soundtrack several times. My wife is a gifted singer and it’s a treat for me to hear her sing along. I try to keep up.

Then, one day, spending time with our GBs, we watched “Moana.” My wife said, “The composer is ‎the guy who did Hamilton. She meant Lin-Manuel Miranda and of course, I had to check it out to see if she was right and she was!

You see, she knows his voice.

 

I believe from Jesus own words, my experience and other’s testimony, the more time we spend in the Bible, particularly the Gospels, the more we will know his voice.

Want to try it out?

Relationship Signs

21 Monday Aug 2017

Posted by in Observations, relationships

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In an article I was reading, I stumbled across a statement by psychiatrist Amy Banks, author of Wired to Connect: The Surprising Link Between Brain Science and Strong, Healthy Relationships. I haven’t read her book nor do I know anything about her. However, what she said about relationships resonated with me and I think you might be intrigued by it, too.

What she says is that “true love is first and foremost about creating a mutual connection, evidenced by five hallmarks of a “healthy relationship.”” Here they are:

  1. You have a feeling of zest or energy.
  2. You have more clarity about yourself, the other person and the relationship.
  3. You are encouraged and empowered to act, both in the world and in the relationship.
  4. You feel more value in yourself.
  5. You desire even more connection.

What do you think? Would you agree? How have you experienced this in your relationships?

The Love Letter

05 Wednesday Jul 2017

Posted by in Discovery, Spirituality

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Rules are hard to follow. Sure the ones we directly benefit from are easier to keep but generally we try to bend them here and there. I mean, have you seen what people do at stop signs? Have you noticed that the best motivation is love?

One of the most beautiful parts of the Bible is God’s testimony*, a revelation of his character, what most people call the ten commandments or in other words, rules. People struggle to keep these rules – even those that believe they’re valid. Others, thinking they are hard rules, ignore or undermine them. What we miss is that they’re not rules. This testimony is beautiful because it’s an invitation into a loving relationship. My friend José Sánchez recently shared God’s testimony this way:

Today, my personal love letter to Jesus based on Exodus 20 says:

Jesus, as I meditate on what you did at the cross for me, my heart overwhelms with joy
and love.
1. I can’t imagine living without you!
2. Nothing can replace you!
3. I’ll never take you for granted.
4. I’m looking forward to spending quality time with you.
5. I’ll treat my parents as you treat your Father.
6. I’ll love others as you love me.
7. I’ll love my spouse as you love your church.
8. I’ll be content with the blessings you provide for me.
9. I’ll be just to others as you are with me.
10. I’ll rejoice when I see how you’ve blessed my friends.
Thank you for your love, Jesus. I love you, too.

Isn’t that beautiful?

*Over and over the Bible refers to what we call the ten commandments as God’s testimony. Even the box they were held in was called the ark of the testimony. 

 

A Conversation

25 Saturday Mar 2017

Posted by in Discovery, Inspiration, Observations, questions, Spirituality

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I stumbled across this and it’s too good not to share. The reference is at the end. I did a little editing so it makes sense out of it’s original context but the meaning is intact.

Imagine that our Good, Good Father appears visibly among us this evening. How would we speak to him? Or to make it more personal, let us say that he is willing to meet us in our living room. As many of us as could, would go over there and gather around him, just as the crowds did around Jesus—Mary loved to sit there at his feet.

Now, as we walk into the room, we know that God is the all-powerful Creator of the whole vast universe. We know that the mighty angels, sinless as they are, stand overwhelmed with awe and wonder at the majesty and glory of our God. Yet, though that all be true, if we are afraid to go in, then God has failed to convince us of the truth about himself. And Jesus has failed to convince us, not just with his words, but with what he has demonstrated to be true when he was here, that God is infinitely powerful, but equally gracious, and there is no need to be afraid. How could we turn down what he has paid such a price to reveal?

God is seated there and we are gathered around him. What should we say? Should we be the first to speak? Once we have started speaking, would we talk all the time? Or would we let God speak for a while? Normally, when we pray we do all the talking, don’t we? And then we say Amen, and go about our business, or go to sleep. It would be like meeting in the room with our Heavenly Father, and talking to him incessantly for several minutes, and then saying, “Amen, thank you very much,” and then going home. It wouldn’t make sense, would it? It certainly wouldn’t be conversation as with a friend.

Supposing we should have the inestimable privilege of talking there freely with God the Father for a whole hour; would it be appropriate at the end for someone among us to arise and say, “This has been such a special occasion, don’t you think we ought to close this meeting with a word of prayer?” Or would it be correct to understand that talking, conversing, having conversation with our God as with a Friend for that whole hour actually is real prayer, and we have been praying the whole hour long?

Conversation means at least two people speaking. But how do we converse with God when we can’t see him just now, because of the present emergency? We all understand that emergency and why in mercy he does not reveal himself visibly to us at this moment. And so, the Bible is called the Word of God—God speaking to us. If we wish to hear God speak, except in most extraordinary occasions, God speaks to us through the Bible. We speak to him in prayer.

Truly, as someone has said, “We commune with God through the study of the Scriptures.” I certainly find prayer much more meaningful while reading the Bible. Have you ever had the experience of talking to God while reading certain parts of the Scriptures? Have you ever found yourself talking out loud, “That’s magnificent!”? Who are you talking to? But that’s real conversation. We read, we listen in that way. And then we talk back to God.

Graham Maxwell. Excerpt from the audio series, Conversations About God, #15, “Talking to God as a Friend” recorded May, 1984, Loma Linda, California. 

 

 

Diversion Tactics – Name Calling

15 Wednesday Feb 2017

Posted by in Discovery, health, Observations, recovery

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Lately, I’ve been discovering common behaviours of Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths. Keep in mind that those are personality disorders and it’s not a good idea to go around labelling people just because they’re jerks. These posts will cover just a few common behaviours that might alert you to possible mistreatment. Please check the link at the bottom for the full list. If these things are happening to you, please seek help so you can have hope and healing.

The following is a summary from an article by by Shahida Arabi at http://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/. Shahida Arabi is a poet and the author of the book She Who Destroys the Light: Fairy Tales Gone Wrong.

Toxic people such as malignant narcissists, psychopaths and those with antisocial traits engage in maladaptive behaviors in relationships that ultimately exploit, demean and hurt their intimate partners, family members and friends. They use a plethora of diversionary tactics that distort the reality of their victims and deflect responsibility. Although those who are not narcissistic can employ these tactics as well, abusive narcissists use these to an excessive extent in an effort to escape accountability for their actions. Here are diversionary tactics toxic people use to silence and degrade you.

Name Calling

The lowest of the low resort to narcissistic rage in the form of name-calling when they can’t think of a better way to manipulate your opinion or micromanage your emotions. Name-calling is a quick and easy way to put you down, degrade you and insult your intelligence, appearance or behavior while invalidating your right to be a separate person with a right to his or her perspective.

Name-calling can also be used to criticize your beliefs, opinions and insights. A well-researched perspective or informed opinion suddenly becomes “silly” or “idiotic” in the hands of a malignant narcissist or sociopath who feels threatened by it and cannot make a respectful, convincing rebuttal. Rather than target your argument, they target you as a person and seek to undermine your credibility and intelligence in any way they possibly can. It’s important to end any interaction that consists of name-calling and communicate that you won’t tolerate it. Don’t internalize it: realize that they are resorting to name-calling because they are deficient in higher level methods.

 

Law of Love

13 Sunday Dec 2015

Posted by in Observations, Spirituality

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One of my most favourite devotional books is called, “Steps to Jesus.” I just started re-reading it again and something jumped out at me.
“God made Adam and Eve perfectly holy and happy. The earth was beautiful as it came from the Creator’s hand. Nothing was spoiled or dying. But Adam and Eve disobeyed God’s law—His law of love. Disobedience brought sadness and death. Yet God showed His love even when sin was causing suffering. – {STJ 3.4}”

I think it’s interesting that the author emphasized “law of love.” It seems to me, that we often stop at “disobeyed God’s law;” Adam and Eve did a bad thing; we see it purely behaviourally. They did bad, we do bad, we’re in legal trouble for breaking the law.

And yet, with the emphasis on law of love, to me, this makes it purely a relationship break down. That in turn means that as God seeks you and encourages you to come back home, he’s not fixing a legal problem but a relational problem.

Does that change the way you relate to God?

Simple

16 Monday Jun 2014

Posted by in Observations

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In a small group I belong to, the question was asked: “What does it mean to be a Christian?”

There were several comments made, all interesting and generally descriptive of the Christian experience. There was acceptance of the Apostle’s Creed (which by the way wasn’t the Apostle’s creed but that’s another story), keeping the commandments, baptism, fellowship in a faith community, love, etc.

I offer you what I offered the group: What is the key, foundational, difference between a single person and a person who is married?

To me, the key, foundational, difference is that the married person is in an intimate, trusting, exclusive relationship with another person. All the other aspects of what it means to be married come from that one specific choice.

Many times over, our creator invites us into a covenantal relationship that is described in terms of marriage. There are all sorts of things that happen once we accept God’s proposal, things that some call being Christian, but they all come from the one foundation: an intimate, trusting, exclusive relationship with the one who has loved us from the beginning.

So what do you think?