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~ Rejecting the gods of our culture since 1998.

cultural atheist

Tag Archives: Passion

Good Lust

09 Tuesday Dec 2014

Posted by braddahr in Observations

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Abuse, Adultery, Anger, commandments, Compasssion, Jesus Christ, Love, Lust, marriage, Passion

Whenever I’ve been around a conversation that includes the topic of lust I have noticed that at least one person will ask, “Isn’t a little lust a good thing?”

I get where they are coming from. From what they say, they typically mean that between partners, it’s good to have some passionate desire for each other. That’s certainly true. The thing is, that’s not what lust means.

Lust is when we have a desire and we want to use another person to satisfy it. It’s selfishness because we put our needs above the other’s needs, it’s objectifying the other, dehumanizing them. It’s an abuse. With that understanding, asking “Isn’t a little lust a good thing?” is similar to asking, “Isn’t a little abuse a good thing?”

When Jesus was showing us our deep need for healing, he pointed out that adultery isn’t just a physical offence but begins in the heart and concerns how we treat or mistreat others. When we lust after another person, even if we don’t or can’t follow through with a physical act, we’ve already done the worst of it – reduced the person to just a thing to satisfy our needs.

How do you know if you are loving or lusting; passionate for your spouse or objectifying them? To me, the simple test is asking how you feel when your partner is unable or unwilling to participate. If you feel angry or annoyed with your lover, rather than compassionate towards them, you were probably lusting rather than loving.

Three E’s – Excitement

25 Tuesday Nov 2014

Posted by braddahr in Observations

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husband, Love, marriage, marvellous, Passion, spouse, wife

Welcome back to the Three E’s to a Marvellous Marriage. So far, we’ve considered Exclusiveness and Expression.  Our challenge is to be Exclusive with our mate; make spouse first in our life; to love our lover more than we love ourselves. At the same time, we seek to Express our love to our mate. That means listening to their heart, how do they experience love, and then acting on it. Now for our last E to a Marvellous Marriage: Excitement.

When we are courting and newly married, we are flush with romantic love; infatuation mixed with some steamy passion. We stay up all night talking on the phone, impulsively buy a dozen roses or run away for the weekend. These exciting feelings are normal and natural and they serve a purpose – to develop deeper intimacy with your mate. The infatuation that comes with courting and even early marriage ensures your attention is absorbed by your partner; you are Exclusive. You want your mate to know she is first in your life so at every opportunity you are affirming and loving; you overflow with Expression. Your relationship overflows with excitement. Does it last?

Over time, life becomes routine, there are bills to pay, possibly children to raise… our Excitement wanes. A friend told me how happy she was that she was married. She said, “I was worried I would have to keep up that fitness thing forever.”

While we have responsibilities and it’s not realistic to maintain the infatuation high, you can still have Excitement in your relationship and it doesn’t require huge amounts of time or money. What it needs is for you to be intentional. Shut off the idiot box (you really won’t miss anything), skip a meeting and go for lunch, put down the iPad (well, after you finish this blog). Have a picnic in your living room. Just go for a walk together. You get the idea.

It’s not going to be easy. Everything good takes time, faith and work. Love is worth it. Your marriage is worth it. Your spouse is worth it. You are worth it. Now go build your Marvellous Marriage!

Eager Desire

24 Monday Mar 2014

Posted by braddahr in Inspiration, Observations, Spirituality

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Bible, Cross, Desire, Jesus, Joy, Lamb, Passion, Passover

Today, I am mediating on these words:

(Jesus) said to them, “I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer.” Luke 22:15

I am catching a glimpse of God’s heart. It overwhelms me.

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