Tag Archives: Freedom

The Sinister Mind

12 Monday Feb 2018

Posted by in Beginnings, Inspiration, recovery

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One of the hats I wear is co-founder and coordinator for COME2LIFE. COME2LIFE engages youth in emotional health conversations, inviting them to experience help, hope & healing. Our signature workshop is called, The Butterfly Effect, a two hour, interactive, presentation that gets us talking about what causes our emotional health to be in chaos.

Recently, we had the honour of presenting The Butterfly Effect to 120+ grade 7, 8, and 9 students. We’ve got a lot of positive response from the youth but a few days later, one of them sent us this poem. She said we could share it.

The Sinister Mind
By Taylor P.

When I am alone, my thoughts tear me apart
Ripping at my heart it does
I am sick of feeling this way, my words are completely numb
“Please make it stop.¨ I say, tears flow as my thoughts scream louder and louder
The pain is deafening, fear and dread rip through my veins
Shame and guilt are words that rip and tear at my slipping sanity like wild dogs
Shove happy pills down my throat, I don’t care
I want my needless hurt to stop
I don’t want to sink further under, stones tied to my ankles
I don’t want to feel miles of shame for things I’ve never done
I want to be happy, calm, at peace
I don’t want to feel comfort by taking sharp metal to my scarred skin
My eyes burn red, my mouth feels dry
I want to sleep, I don’t want to eat
I want to be okay

As I make my way through the dark
I see a light, a placid light
The light caresses my face and brushes through my hair
It’s feather soft to the touch
It engulfs my body, covering every crevasse and every space
It wraps around the miles of skin that I possess
It’s warm and sweet and suddenly I am okay
Suddenly the light has returned in my eyes
For the first time in a long time, I am at peace
No more shame, no more guilt
The burden of being miserable is gone
The ache of being me is gone
The mirror is no longer an enemy
The demons that lurk in my mind remain nothing but ashes
The monsters that hide in my world are now the fuel that makes me stronger
As the wounds turn to scars, this battle was won
I made it through the grenades of doubt and the bullets of hate
I am free at last.

 

 

 

 

Never Let Go

02 Tuesday Jun 2015

Posted by in Inspiration, Observations, Spirituality

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I confess I like Radio Babylon’s “Coffee with Jesus” comic strip. They have some good points and they get me thinking. This one takes on an event in the eighth chapter of John’s Good News letter about Jesus.

Coffee with Jesus

The leaders of the community want to set a trap for Jesus so they manage to catch a woman in the very act of adultery. The whole thing stinks of deception, manipulation, and hypocrisy. Fortunately, Jesus turns the tables on these evil people and saves the woman from certain death. Their conversation concludes:

“Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.””   John 8:10-11 NLT.

This got me thinking about how we often approach this beautiful passage in John 8. Whenever it comes up in a discussion, there’s always one person who really wants to stress “Go and sin no more.”

But what a minute. Let’s put ourselves in the woman’s shoes. It’s very likely that this woman is the same one who would later take every penny she had to buy ointment that she would use to wash Jesus’ feet. That means it’s very likely she’s Mary, sister of Lazarus and niece of Simon the Pharisee. How did she find herself being accused of adultery and being threatened with death? Evidence suggests that her uncle Simon, led Mary into it and may have even led her to a life of prostitution. That would not have been a life with very many options. Today we know that most prostitutes are not choosing that life because they are licentious, sin-loving, women enjoying the profits of their sin. More often they are in that life through a series of abuses in a society that chews women up and spits them out.

So the one way to look at this is Jesus saves her from being murdered and then says, “Stop being such a screw up.” My initial thought is, that doesn’t make me want to take every penny, buy ointment, and then fall at Jesus’ feet as I weep in gratitude.

But what if we see that sin is much more than the bad things we do? Ultimately sin is being separated from God; alienated, unreconciled, broken. What if we brought this deeper, broader, understanding into this passage?

Jesus saves her from being murdered and then says to this woman who has been abused, manipulated, and then left for dead, “I will never condemn you; never let go of me.” Would that make your heart sing?

Claimed

26 Tuesday May 2015

Posted by in Inspiration, Observations, Spirituality

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This is my last post in my short series on God’s sanctuary. It all began here.

I wanted to share with you that God directed the making of the sanctuary so that he could dwell with his people. That is his eternal desire. The message of the sanctuary was that God was demonstrating his love to us in that while we were sinners, Jesus Christ died to save us. Why did he do such a thing? So that we would dwell with him as he wants to dwell with us.

But then I shifted focus to the judgment. I’ve heard the judgment described in various ways, many of which make God look terrible and run contrary to the purpose and message of the sanctuary. Usually, the Son of God is having to convince God the Father to forgive, accept, and receive us.

In contrast, I suggested that the scenario I see in scripture reveals a God who stands between you and the Accuser, the hater of love and life, and not only defending you but claiming you as his child. Does that sound crazy?  Well, I got it from the Bible. Does it have anything to do with the sanctuary? Yes!

Let me set the mood with Psalm 109: 26-31
Help me, O Lord my God! Oh, save me according to Your mercy, That they may know that this is Your hand—That You, Lord, have done it! Let them curse, but You bless; When they arise, let them be ashamed, But let Your servant rejoice. Let my accusers be clothed with shame, And let them cover themselves with their own disgrace as with a mantle. I will greatly praise the Lord with my mouth; Yes, I will praise Him among the multitude. For He shall stand at the right hand of the poor, To save him from those who condemn him.

And now consider Zechariah 3. Here we find a high priest, standing before God, and he is being accused by Satan. God will have none of it and he shuts Satan down. Verse 2 says, “The Lord said to Satan, “The Lord rebuke you, Satan! The Lord, who has chosen Jerusalem, rebuke you! Is not this man a burning stick snatched from the fire?””

Pretty cool, right? Here’s the thing, this short passage is talking about the high priest in the most holy place of the sanctuary on the day of atonement – judgment day! What’s really amazing is the high priest is wearing filthy garments (actually covered in excrement). This is despite all the cleansing and care he would have taken to stand in rightness before the LORD. And yet, it’s clear that it’s nothing the high priest did or said that commended him but it’s because of Christ Jesus who is promised in verse 9. The changing of his garments indicate he has been made right, he is accepted, God wants to dwell with him. And, in the end, we can see that this is our story, too

Behold what manner of love is this?!?

Badvocate

05 Tuesday May 2015

Posted by in Inspiration, Observations, Spirituality

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When I was in elementary school, a new kid moved into our neighbourhood and we became friends. During the school year, our class went on a camp out. That night, as we were in our bunks and supposed to be going to sleep, some of the kids started picking on the new kid. You see, his skin was darker than ours and he had an accent – he was different.

I was so angry at this bullying, that in the loudest voice I could muster, I shouted at them to leave him alone and to stop picking at him. (Insert applause and pats on the back here.) But wait, there’s a little more to the story. it’s the part that haunts me and I wish I could take back. If I ever remember that new kid’s name I will track him down and apologize.

I shouted at them to leave him alone and then I said, “He can’t help it that he was born that way.”

I still feel the sting of shame when I think about it. Sure, it was grade 5 or 6 and kids in grade 5 and 6 say dumb things. Add in the tension and the potential for an actual fist fight and it’s easy for a person’s mouth to get ahead of their brain.

And yet, the truth of the matter is, I wasn’t a very good advocate for my friend.

Have you ever been picked on or accused of something you didn’t do and you wished you had an advocate; someone who would rise to your defence, stand up for you?
I”ve been sharing some thoughts with you regarding God’s sanctuary. The ultimate purpose of the sanctuary is so that God coud dwell with us; he wants to be the centre of our lives. The ultimate message of the sanctuary is that even while we were far away from God, rebellious, angry, and separated, God was demonstrating his love for us through his self-sacrifice.

Next I want to tell you that the good news of the sanctuary is that you have an advocate who is on your side. I’ll show you how beautiful this truth is about God in my next post.

Disarmed

13 Tuesday Jan 2015

Posted by in Inspiration, Spirituality

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A good friend has encouraged me to read Derek Flood’s book, “Disarming Scripture.”* I haven’t even started it yet but it has already wrinkled my brain with this one paragraph my friend sent me. May it also wrinkle your brain.

“Jesus, while embracing the prophets’ priority of compassion over ritual, rejects their common tactic of blaming the victim, and instead acts to heal those who are sick, effectively undoing God’s supposed “judgment” on them. Jesus, in fact, does not associate sickness with God’s judgment at all, but with the kingdom of Satan, and thus acts to liberate people from its bondage, rather than upholding it as right and calling for repentance as the prophets do. Jesus therefore rejects the prophets’ claim that such judgment (sickness, suffering, etc.) is God’s work, and instead frames his healing ministry in terms of the kingdom of God advancing against Satan’s kingdom (cf. Luke 11:17–20).” ~Derek Flood, Disarming Scripture.

*This isn’t a wholesale endorsement of this book, rather it’s just a note about why I would bother to check it out.