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~ Rejecting the gods of our culture since 1998.

cultural atheist

Tag Archives: compassion

Holding Space

11 Monday Jun 2018

Posted by braddahr in Discovery, Inspiration, Observations, relationships

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compassion, healing, help, hope, Mindfulness, relationships

“Holding Space means that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they’re on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome. When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgement and control.” ~Heather Plett

What does holding space feel like? Here’s a great example.

 

I am striving to be better at holding space for people. A great article that explores this topic is, What it Really Means to Hold Space for Someone. The author explores how she discovered how holding space was valuable and how to cultivate it in our lives. Here are a few quotes:

“By offering gentle, nonjudgmental support and guidance, she helped us walk one of the most difficult journeys of our lives.”

 

“Sometimes we find ourselves holding space for people while they hold space for others.”

 

“To truly support people in their own growth, transformation, grief, etc., we can’t do it by taking their power away (ie. trying to fix their problems), shaming them (ie. implying that they should know more than they do), or overwhelming them (ie. giving them more information than they’re ready for).”

I encourage you to read the whole article and incorporate as many of the insights as you can.

Do you hold space for others? What does that look like? Who holds space for you?

Dare to Compare

26 Monday Feb 2018

Posted by braddahr in Observations, relationships, Spirituality

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Comparison, compassion, Greed, Money, Morality

I stumbled upon this the other day…

Stanford researcher Leon Festinger developed a line of research in social comparison theory. He noted that in different situations we will tend to compare ourselves with people either above or below us, depending on which ladder we’re talking about.

For instance, on morality, we tend to compare ourselves with people we think are below us: mass murderers, drug dealers. On the topic of money, we compare ourselves to people above us, those who have more than we do.

Research shows that a tendency for upward financial comparisons generates increasing amounts of greed and decreasing amounts of compassion.

That reminds me of Richard Cory…

Why the Pain?

07 Wednesday Jun 2017

Posted by braddahr in Discovery, health, Observations, recovery, Spirituality

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addiction, compassion, Gabor Maté, healing, help, hope, pain, Shame

My wife has known about Dr. Gabor Maté for a while but I am just getting into his stuff. A friend shared this click with me and it’s incredibly profound. His statement that he doesn’t ask why the addiction but, “Why the pain?”

He goes on to note that we are trying to run away from pain by numbing ourselves but the answer is to be with the pain.  The thing is, we can only be in the pain when we are surrounded by compassion.

From a faith perspective this is so powerful because Jesus is truly empathetic having known and borne our pain and he is also compassion incarnate.

Please take a few minutes and hear what he has to say. It could change your life or the life of someone you love.

 

Becoming Other

30 Tuesday Aug 2016

Posted by braddahr in Inspiration, Observations, Spirituality

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compassion, empathy, Love, pity, tears, vulnerable

I came across this the other day and it just grabbed my heart.

“Compassion means to become close to the one who suffers. But we can come close to another person only when we are willing to become vulnerable ourselves. A compassionate person says: ‘I am your brother; I am your sister; I am human, fragile, and mortal, just like you. I am not scandalized by your tears, nor afraid of your pain. I too have wept. I too have felt pain.’ We can be with the other only when the other ceases to be other and becomes like us.

This, perhaps, is the main reason that we sometimes find it easier to show pity without compassion. The suffering person calls us to become aware of our own suffering. How can I respond to someone’s loneliness unless I am in touch with my own experience of loneliness? How can I be close to handicapped people when I refuse to acknowledge my own handicaps? How can I be with the poor when I am unwilling to confess my own poverty?” – Henri Nouwen

giphy

 

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