Tag Archives: belonging

Present Passive Participle

11 Monday Dec 2017

Posted by in Beginnings, Observations, relationships, Spirituality

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I like good news. Somebody I want to meet up with actually commits to a plan. A surprise giphy-2cheque (or check for my American friends) that arrives in the mail. Final grades above 90%… or above 65% if I was in trouble and that’s what it took to pass the class.

What’s the last good news you received?

What about good advice? You should… You need to… Why don’t you do… You have to… Good advice can be helpful but it also can be annoying, worse if it’s unsolicited.

I’ve got some good news for you. It’s a bit technical but that’s what makes it so good.

When the apostle Paul wrote his letter to the Christian church in Rome – we’re talking first century AD – he noted the problem we all face:

“…all have sinned and
fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:23

Now you might not buy into the idea of sin* or even God but just hang on for moment. Paul is saying, we’ve all got a past we’re not proud of and even now, as best as we can do, isn’t good enough; it’s all tainted. Even if you only count the last six of the commandments. we’ve all missed the mark at least once if not several times. (Note that the problem runs very deep – the commandment to not kill includes contempt and the one about adultery includes even lusting after (objectifying) another person.) This sin stuff, it’s messy. It unleashes death, killing us slowly from the inside out. Anyway, the point is, this is our continuous state.

But wait, didn’t I say something about good news? That’s not very good news at all. Well, Paul was simply stating the problem so he could tell us about the solution:

“…being justified
as a gift by His grace
through the redemption
which is in Christ Jesus…”
Romans 3:24

That phrase, being justified, is a Present Passive Participle. The what? This is the technical part. Being justified is a continuous expression related to the verb just before it – have sinned and fall short.

Being justified takes care of the past, the present and the future, too.

But what does it mean to be justified?

It’s a legal phrase. It’s one of the metaphors for talking about how God has done everything to reconcile us to his heart. The key is it’s not just simply forgiveness, although that’s included, it’s not a not guilty declaration, or an acquittal.

Because of what Christ Jesus has done, justification means that you and I, despite our past, our regrets, our shame, it’s as we never did the deed.

Why?

So that you can know, without a sliver of doubt, that you have the full love and acceptance of your heavenly Father who created you.

That’s good news.

* Sin has to do with alienation from God, from creation, and from one another. It breaks our relationships, hinders our fellowship, and ruins our stewardship of the earth.

Not Without You

07 Monday Aug 2017

Posted by in Inspiration, relationships, Spirituality

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I recently heard an apparently true story about a man urgently needing to catch a plane home from a business trip. He was desperate to get home because his toddler grandson lay in a coma, the victim of terrible child abuse at the hands of his mom’s live in boyfriend. The little boy wasn’t going to live; he was to be disconnected from life support. After he died, his organs would be donated so others might live. The man wanted to get home to see his grandson one more time.

While he was on the way to the Los Angeles airport, his wife called Southwestern airlines to find the fastest flight home. As she bought the ticket she explained their desperate situation. Unfortunately, her husband ran into delay after delay – a traffic jam on the freeway, a congested airport, delays in security.

When the man finally reached the gate for his flight, he realized he was 15 minutes late, he was sure the plane had left.

An airline employee at the gate approached him and asked his name and if he was the one trying to get home to his grandson. The man confirmed who he was.

Then the man at the gate said:

“Well, I’m the pilot and the plane isn’t going anywhere without me.
And I’m not going anywhere without you.”

That story reminds me of one of my most favourite Bible passages:

“Do not let your hearts be troubled.
You believe in God; believe also in me.
My Father’s house has many rooms;
if that were not so, would I have told you
that I am going there to prepare a place for you?
And if I go and prepare a place for you,
I will come back and take you to be with me
that you also may be where I am.”
(John 14:1-3 New International Version)

Jesus’ promise is loaded with hope, love and acceptance. He is making this promise to his friends who, in just hours while he is in his greatest struggle, will desert him, betray him, deny him. He’s saying, despite all your failures, hang on to me, hang on to me because I want you to be with me. It’s a promise we can personally claim today. Isn’t that pretty outrageous grace?

Because Jesus’ promise can be counted on, we know that he will prepare those places and he will return. The Bible vividly describes this event – Jesus will arrive with all his angels, the dead in Christ will be resurrected, the living in Christ will be transformed and all will be gathered by the angels – he will take us to be with him.

I hear Jesus’ promise echo to you and to me in the pilot’s words:

“I’m the pilot and the angels aren’t going anywhere without me.
And I’m not
going anywhere
without
you.”

 

2 Word Good News

24 Monday Jul 2017

Posted by in Discovery, Spirituality

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Have you ever really blown it? I mean you did or said something that so damaged a relationship that it still hasn’t recovered? Maybe you messed up so bad you’ve lost your connection in your family or community?

Yeah, me too.

If you are familiar with the apostles in the Good News, you might now about Peter. He was loud and brash; quick to speak and slow to listen. He seems to have been a leader in that he tends to get listed first among Jesus closest friends. Like the other disciples, he was given the ability to heal people and set people free from possession. He preached boldly and hundreds committed their lives to God. Eventually he would be imprisoned for his faith.

And yet, he blew it. Big time.

After Jesus had been captured and his trials had begun, Peter was being questioned about his relationship with Jesus. After denying he knows Jesus a couple times, he gets asked one more time and we’re told, “Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!””

Can you picture it? Peter spewing out cuss words and swearing on God’s name (super serious back then) that he doesn’t know his best friend Jesus, who is the Christ, the Son of God. You just know that word of this spread like wildfire among the other apostles. Can you imagine how he felt? Do you remember how you felt when you did something so bad you felt disqualified from everything?

But here’s the thing.

After the cross, on resurrection morning, the women coming to finish embalming Jesus, discover he has risen and they encounter an angel and the story goes like this:

“Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’” Mark 16:6-7 New International Version (NIV)

At a time when the disciples thought the hope of Jesus had ended in disaster, when they were scattered and afraid, they discover Jesus isn’t dead, the mission is still on, they are called to press forward and stay hopeful.

But did you catch it? The Good News in just two words?

And Peter.

To the one who had blown it, ran scared, and denied his best friend with angry curses, is still welcome at the table, still invited to be a part of the movement, and will still be used to turn the world upside with Good News; the Good News that despite his failures he was still loved and accepted, still valued and worthy.

And so are you.

 

The 3 Day Quote Challenge – 3

12 Saturday Nov 2016

Posted by in Observations

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Thank you fitnessgrad for nominating me for this quote challenge. This is day three of a three day challenge. For previous posts: Day 1 and Day 2.

Rules to be followed:

  • 3 quotes each day
  • Up to 3 nominees to be nominated (no repetition!)
  • Thank the person who nominated you
  • Inform the nominees

My quotes for today are:

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” Brené Brown

“Judging others makes us blind, whereas love is illuminating. By judging others we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are…If when we judged others, our real motive was to destroy evil, we should look for evil where it is certain to be found, and that is in our own hearts.” Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship

“It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.” The Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens.

I nominate the following people (check out their blogs – they’re amazing!):

BeautyBeyondBones

 

 

Get It For Me

08 Tuesday Nov 2016

Posted by in Observations, Spirituality

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I delight in my grandsons. If my children read this, I delight in you too and would even more so if you paid your rent, but I digress…

My oldest grandson likes trains and he’s at the stage where just asks for stuff outright: “Tomorrow, we can go to the store and you can get it for me.”

Now we could talk about his manners and teaching him about appropriate ways to ask for things. But that’s a story for another time.

I have to confess that I like his bold demands. Why does he ask the way he does? Probably because he has me wrapped around his finger but there’s a deeper reason. I think it’s because he is so comfortable in my love and care for him he doesn’t have to do the fluffy stuff – he just asks for what he wants and trusts in me to provide.

I wonder if we could develop that same trust in God who invites us to talk with him, knowing we are his beloved children.

Abusing Belonging

04 Friday Nov 2016

Posted by in Observations, recovery, Spirituality

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Love and belonging are our two irreducible human needs. For someone to take advantage of that to satisfy their own needs – physical, emotional, status, or control – is abuse plain and simple. It is perfectly right and healthy to implement boundaries to protect yourself from abuse. Love yourself enough to pursue your recovery whatever that may be.

Any youth or young adults in the Edmonton, Alberta area that want to know more about tools for recovery and resources you can access to be healthy, please come to The Butterfly Effect, November 5, 3-6pm at the Coralwood School gym, 12218-135 St. NW, Edmonton, AB. It’s free. For info or if you just need to talk, comment and I’ll do whatever I can to help.

Check out Shannon Thomas’ book, “Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.”

Just Being Present 

10 Sunday Jul 2016

Posted by in Observations

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“If you show me a woman who can sit with a man in real vulnerability and deep fear and be with him in it, I will show you a woman who has done her work and who does not derive her power from that man. And if you show me a man who can sit with a woman in deep struggle and vulnerability and not try to fix it, but just hear her and be with her and hold space for it, I will show you a guy who’s done his work and a man who doesn’t derive his power from controlling and fixing everything.” ~ Brené Brown

Rejected

31 Tuesday May 2016

Posted by in Inspiration, Observations, Spirituality

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I just discovered Dr. Guy Winch. He emphasizes the importance of emotional first aid. After reading one of his articles and listening to his TED talk, I bought his book. Even though I am just getting into the book, my brain is buzzing from the first part about the emotional trauma from severe and/or chronic rejection.

I’ve been focused lately on the importance of love and belonging – how they provide security and empower us to be our best selves. I’ve been mostly seeing how shame degrades love and belonging but rejection is a huge piece of the puzzle. Shame and rejection seem to be related; shaming someone gives them the sense of being rejected. From what I can tell, rejection can happen independent of shaming – like being excluded even unintentionally from a group activity – but then it leads to us to dumping shame on ourselves. As Dr. Winch notes, “…rejections elicit emotional pain so sharp it affects our thinking, floods us with anger, erodes our confidence and self-esteem, and destabilizes our fundamental feeling of belonging.”

I was pondering rejection in my life. Two of my most persistent and painful memories from my childhood are rejection experiences with my dad. I was also considering rejection in lives of people I know who struggle with emotional trauma and also the damage rejection creates in the churches where I minister. I need to be more aware of rejection experiences.

While pondering all these things, it hit me. God repeatedly makes it clear that he has never rejected us. Seven times he says, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” In John 14:18, he tells us, “I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.” In Matthew 28:20, we are told, “…I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Even to those who ultimately refuse every effort made by God to rescue them, he doesn’t reject them but with tears simply gives them up to their hearts’ desire. Actually, when you look closely at God’s story, the only one who really gets completely rejected is God. By us, his children.

From God’s position, his love for you and your belonging with him, is never in question. I hope the truth of that brings you hope and peace.

 

Our Heart Song – Belonging

06 Tuesday Jan 2015

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Psalm 23 is a personal Heart Song to the One who has loved us from the very beginning. Are you able to sing it?

As we continue our series about our Heart Song, consider the last two verses: You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honour me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.

As you listen to the Good Shepherd’s voice, you will begin to trust him more and more, and you will discover to him and him alone – you are enough; only with him can you sing:  “I have all that I need.” When we go through the valley of dark shadows our fear makes us focus on the danger, the problems, the threats. The Good Shepherd tells us to focus on him – remember that he is with us, remember who he is, remember his care and protection. The more we trust him and follow him, we too will be able to say: “I will not be afraid.”

As the song concludes, the metaphor shifts from Yahweh is my shepherd and I am his sheep to Yahweh is my host and I am his guest. Although it seems like a completely different song, it is emphasizing the two key points from before – with Yahweh I lack nothing and with Yahweh I don’t need to be afraid.

The song ends by proclaiming, “Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.” Think about that for a moment – God will pursue you with his love until your very last breath.

Consider about all the times you tried to hide from God. Something you said or did left you so ashamed that you were sure you had ruined your divine relationship; it had disqualified you from heaven. Maybe it’s happening right now and you keeping up appearances, your smile is forced, inside you’re broken; feeling forsaken. Listen to Our Heart Song. God has not forsaken you; he has not called off his pursuit; he’s seeking for you even right now and he will not stop until your very last breath.

Kind of overwhelming, isn’t it? Let me add one more part.

There is some Hebrew word play going on in the last part of the verse with the word “live.” It also means “return.”  What the song is saying is, if you go away; if you are away right now and feeling like you have lost your way, his abundant hospitality will be the same when you come back.

In this world, we are often on the outside. It might be your gender, your age, the colour of your skin, your language, your social status, your education or abilities… Many things make us feel like we are outside; abandoned, rejected.

The Good Shepherd’s abundant hospitality, care and protection, and pursuit of our hearts tells us that even when this world leaves us outside, in Him we find belonging.