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~ Rejecting the gods of our culture since 1998.

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Tag Archives: anxiety

Chew On This

09 Monday Jul 2018

Posted by braddahr in health, Observations, recovery

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

anxiety, Brooding, emotional health, healing, help, hope, recovery, Rumination, trauma

A while back, I was in a board meeting as I had been many times before. It was fairly routine. When the second last item came up, the person presenting – not a fan of me and quietly hostile for the last several months – took the opportunity to tear me apart in front of everyone. Needless to say the entire tone of the meeting changed. During his rant, I was accused of fraud, being inappropriate with a person I care about, even racist. Those that knew me and/or knew the situation stayed mostly silent or spoke in a way that gave my accuser more fuel for his fire. Talk about being slain the house of my friends!

I spoke quietly to the two main accusations – fraud and being inappropriate which were both completely false (afterwards I was provided written statements by those involved that denied the accusations).  I clarified a few other details. I tried to be as gracious as possible. I even apologized for things I felt I could have done better. At that point the person started screaming, “He’s a liar, he’s a liar.”

That one left a pretty big wound. Even writing this is difficult and brings me distress. I can’t drive past that person’s neighbourhood without having a mild anxiety episode.

One of the dangers of having a distressing experience like that is that as the days go by, we can fall into ruminating. I did and I have to catch myself before it gets bad.

Do you know why ruminating is a problem? According to Dr. Guy Winch, in his book Emotional First Aid and in an article specifically on this topic, “Rumination is when we bring up emotional distress and “chew on it” repeatedly… When we don’t have resolution, ruminating goes wrong when we play the same distressing scenes in our head over and over.”  Here are some key points Dr. Winch notes about rumination.

Rumination is maladaptive – it doesn’t help us find resolution and amplifies our distress.

Rumination is addictive – the more we ruminate, the more compelled we feel to continue doing so.

Rumination increases risk of becoming depressed and it can prolong the duration of depressive episodes.

Rumination can increase substance and food abuse as we try to manage or numb out the distressing emotions we feel.

Rumination focuses on the negative which tends to spread to seeing other aspects of our lives too negatively.

Rumination impairs problem solving.

Rumination increases our stress responses and that increases our risk of cardiovascular disease.

To break the the rumination habit, Dr. Winch recommends going cold turkey – making a decision to avoid it and striving to stick with it. What can help through this process is distraction. When you feel rumination coming on, try a movie, exercise, puzzles, Angry Birds (is that still a thing?), really anything that requires concentration. This tends to break the pattern and bring us back to a calmer state. This will take practice so don’t give up. Your rumination patterns will fade with time.

Do you struggle with rumination? What are you doing to reduce it?

 

ag·o·ra·pho·bi·a

14 Monday Aug 2017

Posted by braddahr in Observations, recovery

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Abuse, Agoraphobia, anxiety, Fear, healing, help, hope, Phobia, recovery

Checking the dictionary it says this about agoraphobia:

“An abnormal fear of being in crowds, public places, or open areas, sometimes accompanied by anxiety attacks.”

This isn’t a definitive article on this condition. I honestly don’t know lots about it. I can say that it’s often misunderstood due to TV and movies that suggest it’s just a fear of being outside or around people. Basically, a person can experience this at any place or area, even one’s own home.

Check this out:

This is 87 Avenue, just east of 170 Street in Edmonton, Alberta. Up until a few weeks ago, we lived in this area. Due to a journey we took with a wonderful young person, I had a full on encounter with a psychologically abusive person who came after me. It wasn’t the fault of the person we welcomed into our life but it was related to that time. The person that came after me, lives in the area off to the right.

After we moved, we came back a few days later to do one last check for mail (just in case anything got missed by the post office forward). As we crossed over 170 Street, my heart was gripped with anxiety.  My heart rate shot up and I just had this sense of fear. This wasn’t the first time I had this experience in this area, it’s happened most every day when passing this area and don’t get me started on what it’s like to walk here rather than drive) but it was the first time it hit me – I had developed a mild agoraphobia. My hope is, over time and not being in the area for a long time, I will have healing and be free from that person’s impact on me.

They Know

07 Saturday Jan 2017

Posted by braddahr in Discovery, Observations, recovery

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

anxiety, healing, help, hope, narcissism, recovery, relationships, toxic

I had this recent experience where a person I knew exploded in a meeting and accused me of all sorts of things. Fortunately, I not only hadn’t done what he accused me of, I had good documentation, witnesses, and backing from my employer. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t stunned, wounded actually; truthfully it really affected me for several weeks.

I couldn’t wrap my brain around why a person would do what he did. I mean, I know he was stressed out but make stuff up, make wild claims, seriously he was off the chain. Then I read this from Shannon Thomas.

Check out Shannon Thomas’ book, “Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.”

Five Senses Exercise

28 Wednesday Dec 2016

Posted by braddahr in health, Observations, recovery

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

anxiety, calm, healing, help, hope, personal, recovery

Struggling with anxiety? Stressed out?  Can’t stop worrying or thinking about something? Can’t focus? Feeling upset? Sometimes we feel like we’re caught up in a tornado of thoughts and emotions.

giphy-8

The exercise below is a quick and easy method for feeling more centred on a tough day. It’s also great to practice at times when you’re not as stressed so you know exactly how to use it when you need it the most.

If begin to notice thoughts coming into your mind, that is COMPLETELY normal. Our brains are designed to think but we can learn to refocus our attention. Take this as an opportunity to be kind to yourself and not judge. Just notice that you are having thoughts, then, redirect your attention back to the present moment.

1. Sit in a comfortable upright position with your feet planted flat on the ground. Rest your hands on your thighs or on your desk.
2. Notice your breath. No need to breathe in any particular way. Just bring attention to each part of the breath- the inhale, exhale, and space in between.

giphy-7

3. Bring awareness to each of your 5 senses. One at a time, for about one minute each. The point here is to focus on the present moment and how each sense is being activated in that moment. The order in which you pay attention to each sense does not matter.

Hear: Begin to notice all of the sounds around you. Try not to judge the sounds- just notice them. They are not good or bad, they just are. Sounds might be internal, like breathing or digestion. Sounds might be close by or more distant like the sound of traffic. Are you now hearing more than you were before you started? You may begin to notice subtle sounds you did not hear before. Can you hear them now?

Smell: Now shift your attention to notice the smells of your environment. Maybe you smell food. You might become aware of the smell of trees or plants if you are outside. You might notice the smell of books or paper. Sometimes closing your eyes can help sharpen your attention.

See: Observe your surrounding and notice the colors, shapes and textures. If you really look, you may notice things that have gone unnoticed.

Taste: You can do this one even if you have food in your mouth. You may notice an aftertaste of a previous drink or meal. You can just notice your tongue in your mouth, your saliva, and your breath as you exhale. We have tastes in our mouth that often go unnoticed. You can run your tongue over your teeth and cheeks to help you become more aware.

Touch: Last one. Bring your attention to the sensations of skin contact with your chair, clothing, and feet on the floor. You can notice the pressure between your feet and the floor or your body and the chair. You can observe temperature like the warmth or coolness of your hands or feet. You might take time to feel the textures that you noticed by sight a moment ago. You can feel several objects on your desk to fully focus your attention on the present.

When finished, pause to notice how your body feels in this moment. Compare how you feel now with how you felt 5 minutes ago- what has changed? Try this exercise next time you’re feeling overwhelmed. This can be useful to use before a test or speech, too!

I’m not sure how to best reference this information. It seems a number of people write about it but I haven’t found a source yet. I found the above at http://www.clayton.edu/Portals/541/docs/Five%20Senses%20Mindfulness%20Exercise.pdfwhere is says, “Exercise adapted rom: Clayton State University, Counselling and Psychological Services, Edgewater Hall, Suite 245, 678-466-5406

Advice for Triathlons and Life

22 Monday Aug 2016

Posted by braddahr in Observations

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

anxiety, calm, panic, stress, triathlon

This is a really good observation and relevant for me – I just competed in a triathlon and the next few days are going to be high anxiety/stress.

I had something happen to me today that has never happened to me before, I had a flat tire during a race. I have completed over 30 triathlons and 15 bike races and events, and never had a flat during the race or event. I have had flats during training, before the race or event, […]

via Slow Is Smooth, Smooth Is Fast — Robinson’s Strength and Endurance Coaching

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