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~ Rejecting the gods of our culture since 1998.

cultural atheist

Tag Archives: acceptance

Top Ten Lists

23 Thursday Nov 2017

Posted by braddahr in Observations, relationships

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acceptance, family, Friends, Gratitude, Love, ministry, relationships

Do you like year-end top ten lists? You know: top ten movies, top ten songs, top ten sports moments, top ten fails, and so on. I think they appeal to us because we like to reminisce and because we like having life compartmentalized into ranked lists. The thing about all these things we list is, they are fleeting; enjoyable but typically inconsequential.

Recently, I had a few days of blahness which often leads me to be introspective which in turn leads to depression. One of the ways I care for myself when that happens is practicing gratitude. That led me to think about a personal top ten list – who and what have been transformational in my life? So… here’s my list, but instead of ranking my top ten I went sequentially – when the impact was made in my life.

Mom – in a time when being a single mother was unacceptable, when there were few supports, when employment opportunities were limited, my mom, single, 25, trying to go

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My mom and I a long time ago.

to school, chose to have me and keep me. My mom was all about adventures and experiences. Before I started school, the two of us went on a huge camping adventure across western Canada. She stood up for me against abusive teachers and she let me fend for myself when she saw me struggle but not overcome by situations. She was a good mom. The weekend she passed away, I was with her right up until the end. It still hurts that she’s gone.

Adopted – I never knew my bio dad. For several years, it was just me and my mom. I used to make up stories about my “dad” and the adventures we would have. Eventually, my mom met a good man and they decided to get married. I was seven years old. It wasn’t until a handful of years later that I found out he adopted me. It’s significant to be accepted!

Sisters – after my mom and dad got married, I was tremendously blessed with two

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Too difficult to explain what’s happening here.

sisters. I can say that now because I am looking back on this with an attitude of gratitude which colours my memories. (Ha ha) Honestly, there were some challenging moments – I had to change diapers and still haven’t recovered from that trauma. I suspect my sisters can also testify that I wasn’t the best brother. Even so, I love my sisters. Even though I am the oldest and the favourite, I look up to them because they are talented and brilliant women.

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My sisters with my mom (her masters graduation) with our first two kids.

Marriage – I could write two or three blogs about how I became married. In a nutshell, I met this wonderful woman, we became good friends, she took advantage of me with her feminine charms, I loved her anyway, we became married. We have been given the gift of three children and now we have three grand babies. She remains my best friend, my partner in crime (the legal kind) and the person I enjoy going on adventures with. When she really laughs my heart swells with joy. The beauty of her singing can move me to tears. It’s really cool how creative she is. These days she’s making soap and lip balm.

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Summer 2017 at an Edmonton Triathlon Club Event. (Note: How do you know if someone does triathlons? Don’t worry, some how they’ll work it into the conversation.)

Children – we have been blessed with three children. I was present for the delivery of each child which was both terrifying and so filled with love and joy. They are all out of the house now. Two are in post-secondary and one is a fantastic mom. All three are very talented – they get that from their mom. Our oldest boy is taking a fine arts program. He can work in several mediums and puts all his effort into making something unique.  Our daughter has her hands full with babies but she sings like her mom and recently she has begun song writing. Our baby boy just started college. He’s a writer and story creator. I’m very proud of them.

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Oldest, Baby, Middle

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Middle, Oldest, Baby

Baptism and Ministry – after the babies came, I was soul searching. I was essentially an atheist but various small steps happened that eventually led me to accept God’s acceptance of me. I committed my life to the Way, the Truth, and the Life and was baptized. It’s been a wonderful journey thus far and there’s so much more on the horizon.

Not long after I made my choice to be a Christian, I experienced a call into ministry. I was

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This is COME2LIFE and our youth emotional health workshop called The Butterfly Effect.

happily working in the computer systems arena and good at it. One sabbath during worship, the sermon was on Paul and his work spreading the Good News. We were sitting in the noisy section but suddenly, everything went quiet like someone pressed the mute button, and I heard a voice say, “That’s what I want you to do.” Then the noise came back. That began my journey into ministry, a return to university and now full-time pastoral ministry.

Grandchildren – The highlight of my week is when I get to spend time with our GBs. Each one is delightful in their unique way. A huge, life-changing, event with our grandchildren was shortly after GB1 was born. I have already told the story of our miracle grandson. Check it out.

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The GBs 1, 2, and 3.

Velveteen Rabbit – two years ago this very day, a young adult came into our lives and we were changed forever. For various reasons, I can’t say much about her but she gave me

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“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.” Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit 

permission to share her picture. At first, she was just someone we walked with in her pain. Along the way, she took a part of our hearts. I hope she always remembers who she is to us. Our prayer for her is that she will continue to experience healing and will allow herself to be loved into all she was created to be. The blue comfy chair is always there; the door is always open.

Noreen M – when she was in grade 11, Noreen came to our lives and said that more needed to be done for youth mental health. We agreed and together we developed The Butterfly Effect, a youth emotional health workshop. Since then, we’ve transitioned into COME2LIFE. Noreen challenges me and she helps me be even more cool and unconventional! One day I hope to learn from her how to take a decent selfie.

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Noreen at her grad.

Honourable Mentions – Yes, this is a little cheat – like using your third wish to ask for more wishes – but I just want to give a nod to the many people who have been big in my life. Good friends, men and women who helped me in my faith journey, people whose presence was and often is an oasis of grace and acceptance. I hope that as I am in your life, you know who you are, how you are valued, and what you mean to me.

How about you? Do you have a personal top ten list; people, achievements, favourite movies, best experiences? Who or what are at the top of your list?

2 Word Good News

24 Monday Jul 2017

Posted by braddahr in Discovery, Spirituality

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Tags

acceptance, belonging, Good News, personal, relationships

Have you ever really blown it? I mean you did or said something that so damaged a relationship that it still hasn’t recovered? Maybe you messed up so bad you’ve lost your connection in your family or community?

Yeah, me too.

If you are familiar with the apostles in the Good News, you might now about Peter. He was loud and brash; quick to speak and slow to listen. He seems to have been a leader in that he tends to get listed first among Jesus closest friends. Like the other disciples, he was given the ability to heal people and set people free from possession. He preached boldly and hundreds committed their lives to God. Eventually he would be imprisoned for his faith.

And yet, he blew it. Big time.

After Jesus had been captured and his trials had begun, Peter was being questioned about his relationship with Jesus. After denying he knows Jesus a couple times, he gets asked one more time and we’re told, “Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!””

Can you picture it? Peter spewing out cuss words and swearing on God’s name (super serious back then) that he doesn’t know his best friend Jesus, who is the Christ, the Son of God. You just know that word of this spread like wildfire among the other apostles. Can you imagine how he felt? Do you remember how you felt when you did something so bad you felt disqualified from everything?

But here’s the thing.

After the cross, on resurrection morning, the women coming to finish embalming Jesus, discover he has risen and they encounter an angel and the story goes like this:

“Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’” Mark 16:6-7 New International Version (NIV)

At a time when the disciples thought the hope of Jesus had ended in disaster, when they were scattered and afraid, they discover Jesus isn’t dead, the mission is still on, they are called to press forward and stay hopeful.

But did you catch it? The Good News in just two words?

And Peter.

To the one who had blown it, ran scared, and denied his best friend with angry curses, is still welcome at the table, still invited to be a part of the movement, and will still be used to turn the world upside with Good News; the Good News that despite his failures he was still loved and accepted, still valued and worthy.

And so are you.

 

Newton’s Third Law

15 Friday Apr 2016

Posted by braddahr in Observations, Spirituality

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acceptance, coping, Faith, health, mental health, personal, PTSD, recuperation, self harm, suicide, suicide prevention

I’ve been talking about healing but a friend of mine has been living it. This is her recent post.
“What you are feeling is not inappropriate.” My counsellor said this to me recently. I was upset because after making a lot of strides into healthier living, I had relapsed.  A lot of negative feelings about myself and my progress came with that. I was embarrassed and ashamed that so many people had invested their […]

https://psychoneurotical.wordpress.com/2016/04/12/newtons-third-law/

Claimed

26 Tuesday May 2015

Posted by braddahr in Inspiration, Observations, Spirituality

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acceptance, Character of God, Freedom, God, heaven, Jesus Christ, judgment, salvation, sanctuary, Satan

This is my last post in my short series on God’s sanctuary. It all began here.

I wanted to share with you that God directed the making of the sanctuary so that he could dwell with his people. That is his eternal desire. The message of the sanctuary was that God was demonstrating his love to us in that while we were sinners, Jesus Christ died to save us. Why did he do such a thing? So that we would dwell with him as he wants to dwell with us.

But then I shifted focus to the judgment. I’ve heard the judgment described in various ways, many of which make God look terrible and run contrary to the purpose and message of the sanctuary. Usually, the Son of God is having to convince God the Father to forgive, accept, and receive us.

In contrast, I suggested that the scenario I see in scripture reveals a God who stands between you and the Accuser, the hater of love and life, and not only defending you but claiming you as his child. Does that sound crazy?  Well, I got it from the Bible. Does it have anything to do with the sanctuary? Yes!

Let me set the mood with Psalm 109: 26-31
Help me, O Lord my God! Oh, save me according to Your mercy, That they may know that this is Your hand—That You, Lord, have done it! Let them curse, but You bless; When they arise, let them be ashamed, But let Your servant rejoice. Let my accusers be clothed with shame, And let them cover themselves with their own disgrace as with a mantle. I will greatly praise the Lord with my mouth; Yes, I will praise Him among the multitude. For He shall stand at the right hand of the poor, To save him from those who condemn him.

And now consider Zechariah 3. Here we find a high priest, standing before God, and he is being accused by Satan. God will have none of it and he shuts Satan down. Verse 2 says, “The Lord said to Satan, “The Lord rebuke you, Satan! The Lord, who has chosen Jerusalem, rebuke you! Is not this man a burning stick snatched from the fire?””

Pretty cool, right? Here’s the thing, this short passage is talking about the high priest in the most holy place of the sanctuary on the day of atonement – judgment day! What’s really amazing is the high priest is wearing filthy garments (actually covered in excrement). This is despite all the cleansing and care he would have taken to stand in rightness before the LORD. And yet, it’s clear that it’s nothing the high priest did or said that commended him but it’s because of Christ Jesus who is promised in verse 9. The changing of his garments indicate he has been made right, he is accepted, God wants to dwell with him. And, in the end, we can see that this is our story, too

Behold what manner of love is this?!?

The Great Barrier

23 Monday Dec 2013

Posted by braddahr in Inspiration

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acceptance, Carl Jung, cure, Ellen White, God, gospel, grace, life, Love

Here’s a break from the series I’m doing on The Three. Today, I came across two insightful statements that came collided together in my brain. This was the first one:

“When the gospel is received in its purity and power, it is a cure for the maladies that originated in sin. The Sun of Righteousness arises, “with healing in His wings.” Malachi 4:2. Not all this world bestows can heal a broken heart, or impart peace of mind, or remove care, or banish disease. Fame, genius, talent–all are powerless to gladden the sorrowful heart or to restore the wasted life. The life of God in the soul is man’s only hope.
The love which Christ diffuses through the whole being is a vitalizing power. Every vital part–the brain, the heart, the nerves–it touches with healing. By it the highest energies of the being are roused to activity. It frees the soul from the guilt and sorrow, the anxiety and care, that crush the life forces. With it come serenity and composure. It implants in the soul, joy that nothing earthly can destroy,–joy in the Holy Spirit,–health-giving, life-giving joy.” — Ellen White, Ministry of Healing

And here is the second:

“The acceptance of oneself is the essence of the whole moral problem and the epitome of a whole outlook on life. That I feed the hungry, that I forgive an insult, that I love my enemy in the name of Christ — all these are undoubtedly great virtues. What I do unto the least of my brethren, that I do unto Christ. But what if I should discover that the least among them all, the poorest of all the beggars, the most impudent of all the offenders, the very enemy himself — that these are within me, and that I myself stand in need of the alms of my own kindness — that I myself am the enemy who must be loved — what then? As a rule, the Christian’s attitude is then reversed; there is no longer any question of love or long-suffering; we say to the brother within us “Raca,” and condemn and rage against ourselves. We hide it from the world; we refuse to admit ever having met this least among the lowly in ourselves.” — C.G. Jung, Memories, Dreams, Reflections

Can we say that the great barrier to real life is our resistance to accept God’s acceptance? If we cannot believe that we are God’s beloved how can we love and accept ourselves?

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