Category Archives: health

Chew On This

09 Monday Jul 2018

Posted by in health, Observations, recovery

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A while back, I was in a board meeting as I had been many times before. It was fairly routine. When the second last item came up, the person presenting – not a fan of me and quietly hostile for the last several months – took the opportunity to tear me apart in front of everyone. Needless to say the entire tone of the meeting changed. During his rant, I was accused of fraud, being inappropriate with a person I care about, even racist. Those that knew me and/or knew the situation stayed mostly silent or spoke in a way that gave my accuser more fuel for his fire. Talk about being slain the house of my friends!

I spoke quietly to the two main accusations – fraud and being inappropriate which were both completely false (afterwards I was provided written statements by those involved that denied the accusations).  I clarified a few other details. I tried to be as gracious as possible. I even apologized for things I felt I could have done better. At that point the person started screaming, “He’s a liar, he’s a liar.”

That one left a pretty big wound. Even writing this is difficult and brings me distress. I can’t drive past that person’s neighbourhood without having a mild anxiety episode.

One of the dangers of having a distressing experience like that is that as the days go by, we can fall into ruminating. I did and I have to catch myself before it gets bad.

Do you know why ruminating is a problem? According to Dr. Guy Winch, in his book Emotional First Aid and in an article specifically on this topic, “Rumination is when we bring up emotional distress and “chew on it” repeatedly… When we don’t have resolution, ruminating goes wrong when we play the same distressing scenes in our head over and over.”  Here are some key points Dr. Winch notes about rumination.

Rumination is maladaptive – it doesn’t help us find resolution and amplifies our distress.

Rumination is addictive – the more we ruminate, the more compelled we feel to continue doing so.

Rumination increases risk of becoming depressed and it can prolong the duration of depressive episodes.

Rumination can increase substance and food abuse as we try to manage or numb out the distressing emotions we feel.

Rumination focuses on the negative which tends to spread to seeing other aspects of our lives too negatively.

Rumination impairs problem solving.

Rumination increases our stress responses and that increases our risk of cardiovascular disease.

To break the the rumination habit, Dr. Winch recommends going cold turkey – making a decision to avoid it and striving to stick with it. What can help through this process is distraction. When you feel rumination coming on, try a movie, exercise, puzzles, Angry Birds (is that still a thing?), really anything that requires concentration. This tends to break the pattern and bring us back to a calmer state. This will take practice so don’t give up. Your rumination patterns will fade with time.

Do you struggle with rumination? What are you doing to reduce it?

 

Clear

02 Monday Jul 2018

Posted by in health, recovery

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Is it fair to say we idolize caffeine? We put in all sorts of beverages, foods, lotions and potions. It’s the most widely used legal stimulant on the planet. There are some good reasons why you may want to consider clearing this drug out of your system. One is that the impact it has on our brains can actually aggravate depression. Another is that you may simply want to get off the up and down rollercoaster caffeine use creates.

Regardless of the reason, let’s say you want to get free of caffeine, how can you do it? Here’s what I’ve found helpful which might get you through the process.

  1. In the morning, consume your usual dose of caffeine. Then that’s it.
  2. Be prepared for a wicked headache during the late evening/night. I use Naproxen or Ibuprofen to get through it. Drink lots of water.
  3. The headache might persist through the next day but it will pass.
  4. Hang on through the brain fog and lethargy that will last a few days until your brain and body adjust to not being on a drug. Exercise and naps help.

About 4 days after that last dose, the drug will be cleared out of your system. From there it’s the habit you have to change. Finding healthy replacements and distractions – new habits – will help you maintain your new lifestyle.

12 Depression Signs

14 Monday May 2018

Posted by in health, Observations, recovery

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I recently found an article called, 12 Common Symptoms Of Depression That Shouldn’t Be Ignored. Click the link and read the whole article but here are the bullet points.

You’re always tired
Everyone and everything annoys you.
You sleep too little or too much.
Eating’s an issue.
You’re in pain everywhere – pain can make you depressed, and depression can make you feel pain.
You don’t care that you look messy.
You’re hiding.
Nothing interests you.
You’re beating yourself up.
You’re forgetful or have trouble concentrating.
You feel numb.
You think about dying.

If you or someone you know is showing more than one of these signs for an extended period of time, please enlist the aid of professional help.

It Lingers

02 Tuesday Jan 2018

Posted by in Discovery, health, Observations, recovery, relationships

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Lately, I have been on a journey to learn as much as I can about trauma. I recently went through a series on trauma presented by the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine. It was mind-blowing – and often beyond my brain power – but fantastic nonetheless.

Another topic that interests me is nurturing healthy relationships. Love and belonging are critical to our wholeheartedness – our capacity to deal with the junk that smashes into us on a regular basis.

Anyway, here’s how those two come together. Those who had childhood trauma typicallygiphy-2 struggle more than others in their romantic relationships. That’s not big news as most of us are aware how our past affects our present. But the key question is why – why does trauma create these difficulties?

Self-criticism. 

Apparently, childhood trauma produces a great deal of self-criticism and it’s the self-criticism that hurts the relationship. To be clear, the studies that have noted this weren’t saying it’s a definitive cause and effect. I’m sure there is more to this story and many subtle differences between people. It’s just a link we need to be aware of.

The good news is, there is help, hope and healing. We can reduce self-criticism and improve our relationships. Talk with a counsellor, check out online resources, pick up a book or two (Dr. Guy Winch’s book “Emotional First Aid” covers this topic fairly well I think.) Explore the options and find what works for you.

Are you overly self-critical? If so, can you see how it’s negatively impacting your relationships? What do you do to reduce self-criticism?

 

What Did You Say?

24 Sunday Dec 2017

Posted by in Discovery, health, questions, relationships

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I like to talk about relationships. I’ve done pre-marriage counselling, I’ve done a multi-part workshop on developing a marvellous marriage, and sadly, I’ve sat with a friend having a breakdown because her husband cheated on her. As such, I keep my eyes open for perspectives on helping relationships be stronger.

“The Conversations We Should Really Be Having With Our Partners If We Want Our Relationships To Last” is an article I believe can be really helpful if you want to have a deeper, stronger, relationship with your partner. Here are some highlights, I recommend you check out the whole article.

Conversations you and your partner need to have (consider the following to be quotes from the article):

I want you to tell me what to do because I can’t read your mind – If I truly love my partner, I want to pay attention to their needs. In order for me to do that, I need to know what those needs are. There is a faulty belief that occurs, and we’re all guilty of it: No one can read your mind. If you need something, it’s on you to ask for it.

I want you to tell me how to love you because I take that responsibility seriously – a lot of us are existing in relationships where we feel unloved, neglected, or unimportant. We can make small changes that can create a huge, positive ripple effect.

I want you to tell me how you feel because it helps me understand who you are – What if we give the other person the space and time to open up, and know that we want them to because we want to know what they are feeling and why.

I want you to tell me how to talk to you because communication will make or break us – if you’re having trouble communicating, try focusing on listening rather than trying to get your point across. Ask more questions.

I want you to tell me what you want to do to me because I want to be the one you share your erotic self with – it’s scary to communicate what we want for fear of judgment, criticism, or rejection. Intimate desires, just like emotions, can be really difficult for people to express.

I want you to tell me how to touch you because I care about our intimate connection – when we show interest in meeting our partner’s intimate needs, it’s a way of communicating that they are important.

I want to know what makes you happy. I can’t do it for you, but I can support your journey – the only person responsible for your happiness is YOU. However, we can absolutely support our significant other in trying to achieve, accomplish, or realize anything they identify that might make them happy.

What do you think about these conversations? Could you have them with your partner?

Carb Wars

20 Monday Nov 2017

Posted by in health, Observations

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I’m a big proponent of wellness and self-care, particularly when we are in recovery from emotional injury or any kind of abuse. I’ve shared about HALT so you might know that I believe a key component to care is eating well and healthy. To that end, I wanted to share some bits and pieces from an article I found over at Forks Over Knives.

The article is by someone named Garth Davis, MD and it starts like this:

“Can you believe people actually avoid fruit in an attempt to lose weight? There has never been a single credible study showing that fruit consumption leads to weight gain, and yet this concept is as prevalent as any nutrition dogma. I have treated people for obesity for years and I can tell you, nobody is coming to see me because they ate too many apples or grapes. Why do people think fruit leads to weight gain? The quick answer from my patients is because of the carbs.”

His article is worth reading. He notes how the misconnections many have concerning proteins, fat, and carbohydrates that may be negatively impacting our wellness journey.  He concludes with this statement:

 

“Traditional diets high in fruits, veggies and starches have worked for thousands of years, and continue to keep people slim and healthy. But our obsession with counting fat, carbs, and protein blinds us to this truth.”

A Meaty Topic

18 Monday Sep 2017

Posted by in health

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Have you heard how to tell if someone is vegetarian or vegan? Don’t worry they’ll tell you! This also applies to Mac users, people who stopped smoking, and various athletes like marathoners and triathletes. The best one I heard: If you are a vegan, marathoner, who adopted a dog from a rescue shelter how do you know what to bring up first?

It’s funny but the reality is when people are passionate about stuff they talk about it. I switched to a plant based diet in 2013 but I’ve tried to not be too obnoxious about it. With that said, it does push my buttons when people say a person needs to eat meat if they are athletic. “How do you get enough protein?” they ask with wonder in their eyes?

Without getting to technical on you, the data is, if a North American person eats a well balanced, adequate calorie, plant-based diet, they will get more than enough protein. In fact, it’s the meat eaters you need to worry about because generally they are the one’s missing something critical from their diet – fibre. Possibly why meat eaters tend to have way higher incidences of colon cancer than those on a plant based diet. Just a side bonus – a plant based diet is generally less expensive (unless a person shops at Whole Foods but that’s another rant for another day).

Anyway, because of the myths about athletics and a plant based diet, I like stories about people that not only do sports but excel at them all without an ounce of meat. To that end, check this one out.

Meet Dr. Heather Shenkman, Ironman Triathlete and Vegan Cardiologist

Here’s a quote:

“I exercise six days a week, usually doing two workouts per day. My typical weekday morning starts with Golden Road Aquatics, a master’s swim group, from 6-7AM. I shower at the pool and go straight to work. Then, in the evenings, I might go jogging, take a yoga class, or go to a class at Barry’s Boot Camp. Getting in my workouts can be challenging since I’m a busy cardiologist, but I schedule in the time to exercise. I look at my calendar and plan everything in advance so that I know what I am doing as I go into each week. I also do longer, more challenging workouts, like longer trail runs or bike rides, on the weekends.”

It’s a good article so give it a read and let me know what you think.

Touch is Life

11 Monday Sep 2017

Posted by in health, recovery, relationships

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I’m a hugger. Been that way for a long time. I’m told I’m good at it (aka encouraging and comforting but not creepy). I always ask. I find non-huggers and side-huggers (side hugs are from satan) to be weirdos. One guy would run out of the room whenever I brought up the subject in our group. Even so, I respect that people have their own ways and so I don’t make a big deal about it.

 

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The other day, a friend sent me this article: How a Lack of Touch is Destroying Men. I was immediately intrigued. From a mental health perspective, I think the author has something important to say because he relates it to isolation. I encourage you to check it out but here’s a little excerpt and then a deep thought.

“In American culture, we believe that men can never be entirely trusted in the realm of the physical… Accordingly, it has become every man’s job to prove they can be trusted, in each and every interaction, day by day and case by case… by foregoing physical touch completely in any context in which even the slightest doubt about our intentions might arise.

And where does this leave men? Physically and emotionally isolated. Cut off from the deeply human physical contact that is proven to reduce stress, encourage self esteem and create community. Instead, we walk in the vast crowds of our cities alone in a desert of disconnection. Starving for physical connection. We crave touch. We are cut off from it. The result is touch isolation.”

The author ends the article with the simple sentence: “Touch is life.”

One of the powerful experiences that the Bible communicates is that Jesus touched people. Sadly, he is often presented stoically, distance, and unapproachable. In The Gospel of Matthew by The Visual Bible, Jesus is portrayed warm and friendly – I believe it’s the most accurate and realistic movie version of Jesus.

ComeToMe-NF-smIn the Good News, there is one time when a leper comes to Jesus and asks if he is willing to heal him. Keep in mind that this person would not have been touched or even treated humanely for a long time. But Jesus is more than willing and he touches the man!  To me, this is Jesus not just healing the physical ailment but the heart.

How about you? What role does touch play in your life? Have you figured out touch or are you in isolation?

Fall Fit Challenge Intro – Repeat

30 Wednesday Aug 2017

Posted by in Beginnings, health, recovery

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Just in case you missed it last week, here’s my Fall Fit Challenge Intro.

We always want to get fit for spring or summer or maybe in January when we are deep in shame from the holidays. However, being active is part of overall health and wellness and it’s best as a year round lifestyle. Not only is exercise good for the body, it’s good for the mind, too. Did you know that being active can alleviate depression by up to 30%?

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To that end, you are invited to join me on a 12 week, open to anyone, fun for all ages, Fall Fit Challenge starting Sunday, September 3. Each day will consist of a handful of bodyweight only exercises that focus on our large muscles and core and can be done in about 20 minutes. The goal is to be stronger and more fit while increasing stability and flexibility. These exercises will be a good place to start if you’re just beginning or you can add them into your current workout to give you a little boost.

On Saturday, September 2, I will post the Fall Fit Challenge page. My crazy, never tried before by me, idea is I will update the Fall Fit Challenge page as we go. Each day, to the same blog post, I will post the next set of exercises for the next day. So on September 2, I will post the exercises for September 3. Then, on September 3, I’ll post the exercises for September 4, and so on. That way, you don’t need to wait for me to post the latest exercises – you’ll have them and be ready to go at the time that works best for you. The link to the page will stay the same so you can save it and you won’t have to hunt down new pages. Also, my plan is to post the new day’s exercises at the top so you won’t have to scroll through all the previous days to find it.

Why 12 weeks? Don’t these things only last 21 or 30 days? Studies have shown that strength immediately improves once we become active but we don’t normally see any physical changes until 9-12 weeks. So… you’re welcome.

I look forward to your company on this journey and appreciate any comments along the way. Feel free to invite friends and family but don’t shame them if they can’t keep up with your amazing progress.

This will be the link to the page once it publishes: Fall Fit Challenge

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Like all otherfitness stuff, make sure you are able to start a beginner to intermediate intensity fitness program. See your doctor if you have any health conditions that could be aggravated, injuries that could be affected, or any medications that may need adjustment. Modify the exercises as needed to ensure they are the correct intensity for you. If at any time you feel sharp pain, experience dizziness or shortness of breath, please stop immediately and get checked out to ensure you’re safe. If you  begin to feel sexy and you want to get amorous with your partner, please go ahead in an appropriate manner.

Fall Fit Challenge Intro

23 Wednesday Aug 2017

Posted by in Beginnings, health, recovery

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We always want to get fit for spring or summer or maybe in January when we are deep in shame from the holidays. However, being active is part of overall health and wellness and it’s best as a year round lifestyle. Not only is exercise good for the body, it’s good for the mind, too. Did you know that being active can alleviate depression by up to 30%?

fitness-1625279_1280

To that end, you are invited to join me on a 12 week, open to anyone, fun for all ages, Fall Fit Challenge starting Sunday, September 3. Each day will consist of a handful of bodyweight only exercises that focus on our large muscles and core and can be done in about 20 minutes. The goal is to be stronger and more fit while increasing stability and flexibility. These exercises will be a good place to start if you’re just beginning or you can add them into your current workout to give you a little boost.

On Saturday, September 2, I will post the Fall Fit Challenge page. My crazy, never tried before by me, idea is I will update the Fall Fit Challenge page as we go. Each day, to the same blog post, I will post the next set of exercises for the next day. So on September 2, I will post the exercises for September 3. Then, on September 3, I’ll post the exercises for September 4, and so on. That way, you don’t need to wait for me to post the latest exercises – you’ll have them and be ready to go at the time that works best for you. The link to the page will stay the same so you can save it and you won’t have to hunt down new pages. Also, my plan is to post the new day’s exercises at the top so you won’t have to scroll through all the previous days to find it.

Why 12 weeks? Don’t these things only last 21 or 30 days? Studies have shown that strength immediately improves once we become active but we don’t normally see any physical changes until 9-12 weeks. So… you’re welcome.

I look forward to your company on this journey and appreciate any comments along the way. Feel free to invite friends and family but don’t shame them if they can’t keep up with your amazing progress.

This will be the link to the page once it publishes: Fall Fit Challenge

exercise-1203896_1280

Like all otherfitness stuff, make sure you are able to start a beginner to intermediate intensity fitness program. See your doctor if you have any health conditions that could be aggravated, injuries that could be affected, or any medications that may need adjustment. Modify the exercises as needed to ensure they are the correct intensity for you. If at any time you feel sharp pain, experience dizziness or shortness of breath, please stop immediately and get checked out to ensure you’re safe. If you  begin to feel sexy and you want to get amorous with your partner, please go ahead in an appropriate manner.