Category Archives: Beginnings

The Sinister Mind

12 Monday Feb 2018

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One of the hats I wear is co-founder and coordinator for COME2LIFE. COME2LIFE engages youth in emotional health conversations, inviting them to experience help, hope & healing. Our signature workshop is called, The Butterfly Effect, a two hour, interactive, presentation that gets us talking about what causes our emotional health to be in chaos.

Recently, we had the honour of presenting The Butterfly Effect to 120+ grade 7, 8, and 9 students. We’ve got a lot of positive response from the youth but a few days later, one of them sent us this poem. She said we could share it.

The Sinister Mind
By Taylor P.

When I am alone, my thoughts tear me apart
Ripping at my heart it does
I am sick of feeling this way, my words are completely numb
“Please make it stop.¨ I say, tears flow as my thoughts scream louder and louder
The pain is deafening, fear and dread rip through my veins
Shame and guilt are words that rip and tear at my slipping sanity like wild dogs
Shove happy pills down my throat, I don’t care
I want my needless hurt to stop
I don’t want to sink further under, stones tied to my ankles
I don’t want to feel miles of shame for things I’ve never done
I want to be happy, calm, at peace
I don’t want to feel comfort by taking sharp metal to my scarred skin
My eyes burn red, my mouth feels dry
I want to sleep, I don’t want to eat
I want to be okay

As I make my way through the dark
I see a light, a placid light
The light caresses my face and brushes through my hair
It’s feather soft to the touch
It engulfs my body, covering every crevasse and every space
It wraps around the miles of skin that I possess
It’s warm and sweet and suddenly I am okay
Suddenly the light has returned in my eyes
For the first time in a long time, I am at peace
No more shame, no more guilt
The burden of being miserable is gone
The ache of being me is gone
The mirror is no longer an enemy
The demons that lurk in my mind remain nothing but ashes
The monsters that hide in my world are now the fuel that makes me stronger
As the wounds turn to scars, this battle was won
I made it through the grenades of doubt and the bullets of hate
I am free at last.

 

 

 

 

Present Passive Participle

11 Monday Dec 2017

Posted by in Beginnings, Observations, relationships, Spirituality

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I like good news. Somebody I want to meet up with actually commits to a plan. A surprise giphy-2cheque (or check for my American friends) that arrives in the mail. Final grades above 90%… or above 65% if I was in trouble and that’s what it took to pass the class.

What’s the last good news you received?

What about good advice? You should… You need to… Why don’t you do… You have to… Good advice can be helpful but it also can be annoying, worse if it’s unsolicited.

I’ve got some good news for you. It’s a bit technical but that’s what makes it so good.

When the apostle Paul wrote his letter to the Christian church in Rome – we’re talking first century AD – he noted the problem we all face:

“…all have sinned and
fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:23

Now you might not buy into the idea of sin* or even God but just hang on for moment. Paul is saying, we’ve all got a past we’re not proud of and even now, as best as we can do, isn’t good enough; it’s all tainted. Even if you only count the last six of the commandments. we’ve all missed the mark at least once if not several times. (Note that the problem runs very deep – the commandment to not kill includes contempt and the one about adultery includes even lusting after (objectifying) another person.) This sin stuff, it’s messy. It unleashes death, killing us slowly from the inside out. Anyway, the point is, this is our continuous state.

But wait, didn’t I say something about good news? That’s not very good news at all. Well, Paul was simply stating the problem so he could tell us about the solution:

“…being justified
as a gift by His grace
through the redemption
which is in Christ Jesus…”
Romans 3:24

That phrase, being justified, is a Present Passive Participle. The what? This is the technical part. Being justified is a continuous expression related to the verb just before it – have sinned and fall short.

Being justified takes care of the past, the present and the future, too.

But what does it mean to be justified?

It’s a legal phrase. It’s one of the metaphors for talking about how God has done everything to reconcile us to his heart. The key is it’s not just simply forgiveness, although that’s included, it’s not a not guilty declaration, or an acquittal.

Because of what Christ Jesus has done, justification means that you and I, despite our past, our regrets, our shame, it’s as we never did the deed.

Why?

So that you can know, without a sliver of doubt, that you have the full love and acceptance of your heavenly Father who created you.

That’s good news.

* Sin has to do with alienation from God, from creation, and from one another. It breaks our relationships, hinders our fellowship, and ruins our stewardship of the earth.

Fall Fit Challenge Intro – Repeat

30 Wednesday Aug 2017

Posted by in Beginnings, health, recovery

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Just in case you missed it last week, here’s my Fall Fit Challenge Intro.

We always want to get fit for spring or summer or maybe in January when we are deep in shame from the holidays. However, being active is part of overall health and wellness and it’s best as a year round lifestyle. Not only is exercise good for the body, it’s good for the mind, too. Did you know that being active can alleviate depression by up to 30%?

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To that end, you are invited to join me on a 12 week, open to anyone, fun for all ages, Fall Fit Challenge starting Sunday, September 3. Each day will consist of a handful of bodyweight only exercises that focus on our large muscles and core and can be done in about 20 minutes. The goal is to be stronger and more fit while increasing stability and flexibility. These exercises will be a good place to start if you’re just beginning or you can add them into your current workout to give you a little boost.

On Saturday, September 2, I will post the Fall Fit Challenge page. My crazy, never tried before by me, idea is I will update the Fall Fit Challenge page as we go. Each day, to the same blog post, I will post the next set of exercises for the next day. So on September 2, I will post the exercises for September 3. Then, on September 3, I’ll post the exercises for September 4, and so on. That way, you don’t need to wait for me to post the latest exercises – you’ll have them and be ready to go at the time that works best for you. The link to the page will stay the same so you can save it and you won’t have to hunt down new pages. Also, my plan is to post the new day’s exercises at the top so you won’t have to scroll through all the previous days to find it.

Why 12 weeks? Don’t these things only last 21 or 30 days? Studies have shown that strength immediately improves once we become active but we don’t normally see any physical changes until 9-12 weeks. So… you’re welcome.

I look forward to your company on this journey and appreciate any comments along the way. Feel free to invite friends and family but don’t shame them if they can’t keep up with your amazing progress.

This will be the link to the page once it publishes: Fall Fit Challenge

exercise-1203896_1280

Like all otherfitness stuff, make sure you are able to start a beginner to intermediate intensity fitness program. See your doctor if you have any health conditions that could be aggravated, injuries that could be affected, or any medications that may need adjustment. Modify the exercises as needed to ensure they are the correct intensity for you. If at any time you feel sharp pain, experience dizziness or shortness of breath, please stop immediately and get checked out to ensure you’re safe. If you  begin to feel sexy and you want to get amorous with your partner, please go ahead in an appropriate manner.

Fall Fit Challenge Intro

23 Wednesday Aug 2017

Posted by in Beginnings, health, recovery

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We always want to get fit for spring or summer or maybe in January when we are deep in shame from the holidays. However, being active is part of overall health and wellness and it’s best as a year round lifestyle. Not only is exercise good for the body, it’s good for the mind, too. Did you know that being active can alleviate depression by up to 30%?

fitness-1625279_1280

To that end, you are invited to join me on a 12 week, open to anyone, fun for all ages, Fall Fit Challenge starting Sunday, September 3. Each day will consist of a handful of bodyweight only exercises that focus on our large muscles and core and can be done in about 20 minutes. The goal is to be stronger and more fit while increasing stability and flexibility. These exercises will be a good place to start if you’re just beginning or you can add them into your current workout to give you a little boost.

On Saturday, September 2, I will post the Fall Fit Challenge page. My crazy, never tried before by me, idea is I will update the Fall Fit Challenge page as we go. Each day, to the same blog post, I will post the next set of exercises for the next day. So on September 2, I will post the exercises for September 3. Then, on September 3, I’ll post the exercises for September 4, and so on. That way, you don’t need to wait for me to post the latest exercises – you’ll have them and be ready to go at the time that works best for you. The link to the page will stay the same so you can save it and you won’t have to hunt down new pages. Also, my plan is to post the new day’s exercises at the top so you won’t have to scroll through all the previous days to find it.

Why 12 weeks? Don’t these things only last 21 or 30 days? Studies have shown that strength immediately improves once we become active but we don’t normally see any physical changes until 9-12 weeks. So… you’re welcome.

I look forward to your company on this journey and appreciate any comments along the way. Feel free to invite friends and family but don’t shame them if they can’t keep up with your amazing progress.

This will be the link to the page once it publishes: Fall Fit Challenge

exercise-1203896_1280

Like all otherfitness stuff, make sure you are able to start a beginner to intermediate intensity fitness program. See your doctor if you have any health conditions that could be aggravated, injuries that could be affected, or any medications that may need adjustment. Modify the exercises as needed to ensure they are the correct intensity for you. If at any time you feel sharp pain, experience dizziness or shortness of breath, please stop immediately and get checked out to ensure you’re safe. If you  begin to feel sexy and you want to get amorous with your partner, please go ahead in an appropriate manner.

The Meeting

31 Wednesday May 2017

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One of my favourite authors had a picture given to her of the great reunion that is coming soon.  I did a little editing for length.

“(At the second coming) The living righteous are changed “in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye.” At the voice of God they were glorified; now they are made immortal and with the risen saints are caught up to meet their Lord in the air. Angels “gather together His elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.” Little children are borne by holy angels to their mothers’ arms. Friends long separated by death are united, nevermore to part, and with songs of gladness ascend together to the City of God.

Before entering the City of God, the Saviour bestows upon His followers the emblems of victory and invests them with the insignia of their royal state… Upon the heads of the overcomers, Jesus with His own right hand places the crown of glory. For each there is a crown, bearing his own “new name” (Revelation 2:17), and the inscription, “Holiness to the Lord.”

As the ransomed ones are welcomed to the City of God, there rings out upon the air an exultant cry of adoration. The two Adams are about to meet. The Son of God is standing with outstretched arms to receive the father of our race—the being whom He created, who sinned against his Maker, and for whose sin the marks of the crucifixion are borne upon the Saviour’s form. As Adam discerns the prints of the cruel nails, he does not fall upon the bosom of his Lord, but in humiliation casts himself at His feet, crying: “Worthy, worthy is the Lamb that was slain!” Tenderly the Saviour lifts him up and bids him look once more upon the Eden home from which he has so long been exiled.

The Saviour leads him to the tree of life and plucks the glorious fruit and bids him eat. He looks about him and beholds a multitude of his family redeemed, standing in the Paradise of God. Then he casts his glittering crown at the feet of Jesus and, falling upon His breast, embraces the Redeemer. The family of Adam take up the strain, “Worthy, worthy, worthy is the Lamb that was slain, and lives again!” and cast their crowns at the Saviour’s feet as they bow before Him in adoration.

This reunion is witnessed by the angels who wept at the fall of Adam and rejoiced when Jesus, after His resurrection, ascended to heaven, having opened the grave for all who should believe on His name. Now they behold the work of redemption accomplished, and they unite their voices in the song of praise.”

Would you like to be there?

Glory

Swim Bike Run Nap

05 Thursday Jan 2017

Posted by in Beginnings, health, Observations

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As part of my wellness journey, I completed the YK2HR 2014 – an epic three day, 500km, ride from Yellowknife to Hay River in the Northwest Territories. After I recovered, I needed a new goal. I had a decent bike, I was a swimmer… what to do, what to do?

I decided that I was going to do triathlons!

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(I am NOT in this picture!)

There are several different triathlon levels – starting with Tri-it, a 300 m swim, 10 km bike, and a 2.5 km run to the Ironman 3.86 km swim, 180.25 km bike, and 42.20 km (marathon) run. There are also ultra-Ironman events – races over multiple days. I decided I would start at the Sprint level which is double the Tri-it distance.

My first thought was, I guess I better start running!

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When I was younger, I used to run like the wind but then I starting cycling and then driving… It had been a long time since I had done any running. Since a race means moving between the swim, bike and run without resting, my first attempt would be a short, but moderately intense, bike ride and then I would do a little run.  The ride was great, I parked my bike, switched shoes and I was off to the trails near our home!

At least, I was off for about 150 m when suddenly there was a sharp stabbing pain in my calf. I don’t know what happen but it hobbled me. I limped back home, discouraged and nearly in tears.

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Fortunately – at least it seems fortunate now – the triathlon in Yellowknife was cancelled that year. That meant I had almost a year to heal, train, and invest in gear. I found a wetsuit for a great price, got a triathlon-suit (a once piece that you can wear for the swim, bike and run), and new runners. The spandex level in my clothing rose by 67%.

My first event was the 2015 Kelowna Apple Triathlon. It’s an open water swim  in Lake Okanogan, a challenging bike route, and a really nice run through parks and along the lake. It was a great race.

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Afterwards, we had lunch and then hit the road for home. We got about five hours down the road and all the muscle soreness and exhaustion hit us so we got an emergency hotel room, with a hot tub…

Before the summer was over, I finished two more triathlons – Vancouver, BC (swim in the ocean with bonus cuts on my hands from barnacles!) and Terwilligar in Edmonton, AB which was a pool swim.

Since then, I have continued to train for triathlons. In 2016, I moved up to the Olympic level (1500 m swim, 50 km bike, and a 10 km run) at the Great White North Triathlon. I plan to stay at that level for a couple years. What’s nice about these distances is that I can go hard, finish well, and then get home for a nap!

In my next post, I’ll share what I do to train for triathlons.

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(Me (the sexy one in the middle), my wife, and sister at the Vancouver Triathlon 2015.)

 

Dry Bones

29 Thursday Dec 2016

Posted by in Beginnings, Discovery, health, Observations, recovery

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It’s important to always remember that you’re not alone, others have been there and are willing to support your journey. You can find help, hope, and healing.

If you can, check out Shannon Thomas’ book, “Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.”

500 and Counting 

17 Saturday Dec 2016

Posted by in Beginnings, Observations

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Early this morning, WordPress told me that I had received a total of 500 likes! I don’t keep track of that sort of thing but I thought 500 is pretty cool and deserves recognition. 


The thing is, I don’t want to give recognition for the number but to you friendly reader. Thank you! Thanks for stopping by, checking things out, and showing your appreciation. 

I appreciate your support and feedback. Blessings to you!