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cultural atheist

~ Rejecting the gods of our culture since 1998.

cultural atheist

Monthly Archives: February 2018

Dare to Compare

26 Monday Feb 2018

Posted by braddahr in Observations, relationships, Spirituality

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Comparison, compassion, Greed, Money, Morality

I stumbled upon this the other day…

Stanford researcher Leon Festinger developed a line of research in social comparison theory. He noted that in different situations we will tend to compare ourselves with people either above or below us, depending on which ladder we’re talking about.

For instance, on morality, we tend to compare ourselves with people we think are below us: mass murderers, drug dealers. On the topic of money, we compare ourselves to people above us, those who have more than we do.

Research shows that a tendency for upward financial comparisons generates increasing amounts of greed and decreasing amounts of compassion.

That reminds me of Richard Cory…

Geese

19 Monday Feb 2018

Posted by braddahr in Observations

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This is on the wall in a friend’s office. What do you think?

Irredeemable

14 Wednesday Feb 2018

Posted by braddahr in Inspiration, Observations, relationships

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Love, valentines, vulnerable

In honour of Valentines Day, I want to share a CS Lewis quote. I find this insight to be a good reminder of why love is worth risking.

I hope you are able to extend and receive love this week.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything & your heart will certainly be wrung & possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one…but in that casket it will change. It will become unbreakable, irredeemable.”

The Sinister Mind

12 Monday Feb 2018

Posted by braddahr in Beginnings, Inspiration, recovery

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COME2LIFE, emotional health, Freedom, life, mental health, Peace, recovery, Shame

One of the hats I wear is co-founder and coordinator for COME2LIFE. COME2LIFE engages youth in emotional health conversations, inviting them to experience help, hope & healing. Our signature workshop is called, The Butterfly Effect, a two hour, interactive, presentation that gets us talking about what causes our emotional health to be in chaos.

Recently, we had the honour of presenting The Butterfly Effect to 120+ grade 7, 8, and 9 students. We’ve got a lot of positive response from the youth but a few days later, one of them sent us this poem. She said we could share it.

The Sinister Mind
By Taylor P.

When I am alone, my thoughts tear me apart
Ripping at my heart it does
I am sick of feeling this way, my words are completely numb
“Please make it stop.¨ I say, tears flow as my thoughts scream louder and louder
The pain is deafening, fear and dread rip through my veins
Shame and guilt are words that rip and tear at my slipping sanity like wild dogs
Shove happy pills down my throat, I don’t care
I want my needless hurt to stop
I don’t want to sink further under, stones tied to my ankles
I don’t want to feel miles of shame for things I’ve never done
I want to be happy, calm, at peace
I don’t want to feel comfort by taking sharp metal to my scarred skin
My eyes burn red, my mouth feels dry
I want to sleep, I don’t want to eat
I want to be okay

As I make my way through the dark
I see a light, a placid light
The light caresses my face and brushes through my hair
It’s feather soft to the touch
It engulfs my body, covering every crevasse and every space
It wraps around the miles of skin that I possess
It’s warm and sweet and suddenly I am okay
Suddenly the light has returned in my eyes
For the first time in a long time, I am at peace
No more shame, no more guilt
The burden of being miserable is gone
The ache of being me is gone
The mirror is no longer an enemy
The demons that lurk in my mind remain nothing but ashes
The monsters that hide in my world are now the fuel that makes me stronger
As the wounds turn to scars, this battle was won
I made it through the grenades of doubt and the bullets of hate
I am free at last.

 

 

 

 

Trash

05 Monday Feb 2018

Posted by braddahr in Observations

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Defeating, Feminism, Shame, Trash

What do you think of when you hear the word trash? Unwanted, disposable, stinks, worthless, valueless, discarded, filthy? What pictures do you have in your mind? Banana peels, dirty diapers, slimy stuff that you don’t want on your body or clothes? Nobody likes trash which is why we take it away from our homes and neighbourhoods. Nobody likes going near trash.

giphy

On Twitter and Instagram, I follow a handful of people that regularly declare, “Men are trash” or when they’re really upset, “ALL men are trash.” The person posting the statement typically receives push back, 99% of the time from men, that shout, “Not all men!”  Then all sorts of messages will be posted back and forth until someone is blocked and the claim that men are trash is confirmed.

I respect the stories of those who post the claim that men are trash. This is not a knee jerk reaction to the statement. I can understand the anger and frustration they feel and pain that’s behind their feelings and words. There is a spirit of murder against the women and children of this world and men are overwhelmingly the perpetrators. All human beings are capable of much harm but sadly, we must admit men truly do some very trashy things and we do it a lot of the time.

And yet, what does it mean when we say someone, or many someone’s, is trash? Unwanted, disposable, stinks, worthless, valueless, discarded, filthy? We are shaming people. Despite popular belief, shame does not produce good; it never facilitates change. Shame erodes the very part of us that’s capable of change. Shame also produces disengagement, push back, or a desire to fight shame with shame. Think fight, flight, or freeze. Pretty tough to see change happen when that’s how people are reacting.

From that perspective, declaring that men are trash is defeating; it undermines the goal of changing the world for better. Isn’t that what we want?

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