• Don’t Click Here

cultural atheist

~ Rejecting the gods of our culture since 1998.

cultural atheist

Monthly Archives: January 2018

A Modest Proposal

29 Monday Jan 2018

Posted by braddahr in Discovery, Observations, relationships

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Bible, christianity, fatih, Lust, modesty, Rape Culture

A friend pointed me towards an article concerning modesty. It shifted my thinking and I want to recommend it as a must read, particularly for Christians.

Here are some highlights but please click the link and read the whole thing:

“No one really knows what “immodest” means. It puts the responsibility for a man’s lust and fantasies squarely on the shoulders of women.” 

“Many conferences and books have even gone so far as to name women the “gatekeepers” of sexuality. He will go as far as you let him, the narrative goes. Wow! This a staggeringly unhealthy narrative to promote to our children about the way sexuality works, and plays directly into the hands of a rape culture such as the one in which we live: if you are a female and ever get catcalled, abused, molested, raped, or any number of other sexual advances, you are probably at least partially to blame. What were you wearing? What did you say to him? Did you bend over to pick something up? Was your perfume too sensual?”

Putting modesty/immodesty on women and saying they are gatekeepers of men’s behaviour “…grants men and boys amnesty from the responsibility of their own sexual choices.

“Not only does Jesus say nothing about female culpability in a man’s fantasies, he absolutely destroys any excuses a man might make about his inability to control his own urges. No, Jesus says, a man’s culpability begins and ends with his own dang eyes and right hand.”

Wow. Check it out and let me know what you think.

Has PTSD From Childhood Affected Your Ability to Connect? 10 Tips For Better Friendships — The Crappy Childhood Fairy

22 Monday Jan 2018

Posted by braddahr in Observations

≈ Leave a comment

I shared this new to me blog for the first time last week. This is another post from The Crappy Childhood Fairy that really impressed me. Simple suggestions that can help anyone take baby steps towards healthier relationships.

This week, I’m introducing the new crappy vlog format. Same sloppy visuals as the drawings on written posts, same overly long narration. All new content! Hope you enjoy.

via Has PTSD From Childhood Affected Your Ability to Connect? 10 Tips For Better Friendships — The Crappy Childhood Fairy

Heart, Mind and Soul

19 Friday Jan 2018

Posted by braddahr in Discovery, Observations, Rants, Spirituality

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Dragon, Hypocrisy, Jesus, Lamb, Love, relationships

In Jesus’ way, loving one’s neighbour includes the care and support of those who hate me, see me as less than, or simply don’t have the same worldview/faith/opinions. Click here if you need to become familiar with this teaching.
Apparently, 45’s latest action is to protect medical workers (presumably those who are of The Way) who want to REFUSE the care and support of those who hate them, see them as less than, or simply don’t have the same worldview/faith/opinions.
Truly, we are watching a nation that is posing as the lamb but has the heart, mind, and soul of the Dragon.

How to Make a Beautiful Apology — The Crappy Childhood Fairy

15 Monday Jan 2018

Posted by braddahr in Observations

≈ Leave a comment

This is a blog I’ve just started to follow and this was the first post I read. I’ve also spoken about apologies and I really appreciated how this is presented. I hope this helps you be better at apologizing and also spotting those who fake apologize so you can call them on it.

 

If you grew up with a lot of childhood crap, you probably know a thing or two about broken down relationships! And sometimes, sometimes, it’s we who did the breaking. Or at least played a part in it. If you have any apologies you’ve been meaning to give, but weren’t sure how, this is the…

via How to Make a Beautiful Apology — The Crappy Childhood Fairy

Identifying Narcissistic Triangulation — MakeItUltra™

08 Monday Jan 2018

Posted by braddahr in Observations

≈ 1 Comment

This is a must read for anyone wanting to better understand how toxic people will manipulate bystanders into a triangulation to abuse their target. Dr. Perry touches on the following scenarios:

 Love triangle
Family triangle
Work triangle
Social triangle

Check out the opening comment below and find the whole article at the link.

 

By Dr. Perry, PhD What does it take to have a healthy relationship? Whether it is in love, friendship, work relationships or family relationships, they all need mutual respect in order to thrive. One of the reasons narcissists are not able to have healthy relationships is because they do not respect people. To the narcissist, […]

via Identifying Narcissistic Triangulation — MakeItUltra™

It Lingers

02 Tuesday Jan 2018

Posted by braddahr in Discovery, health, Observations, recovery, relationships

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Criticism, healing, help, hope, recovery, relationships, Resources, trauma

Lately, I have been on a journey to learn as much as I can about trauma. I recently went through a series on trauma presented by the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine. It was mind-blowing – and often beyond my brain power – but fantastic nonetheless.

Another topic that interests me is nurturing healthy relationships. Love and belonging are critical to our wholeheartedness – our capacity to deal with the junk that smashes into us on a regular basis.

Anyway, here’s how those two come together. Those who had childhood trauma typicallygiphy-2 struggle more than others in their romantic relationships. That’s not big news as most of us are aware how our past affects our present. But the key question is why – why does trauma create these difficulties?

Self-criticism. 

Apparently, childhood trauma produces a great deal of self-criticism and it’s the self-criticism that hurts the relationship. To be clear, the studies that have noted this weren’t saying it’s a definitive cause and effect. I’m sure there is more to this story and many subtle differences between people. It’s just a link we need to be aware of.

The good news is, there is help, hope and healing. We can reduce self-criticism and improve our relationships. Talk with a counsellor, check out online resources, pick up a book or two (Dr. Guy Winch’s book “Emotional First Aid” covers this topic fairly well I think.) Explore the options and find what works for you.

Are you overly self-critical? If so, can you see how it’s negatively impacting your relationships? What do you do to reduce self-criticism?

 

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 325 other subscribers

Categories

  • Beginnings
  • Discovery
  • health
  • Inspiration
  • Observations
  • questions
  • Rants
  • recovery
  • relationships
  • Sarcasm
  • Shared Post
  • Spirituality
  • Uncategorized

Archives

  • January 2021
  • March 2020
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • cultural atheist
    • Join 325 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • cultural atheist
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...