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cultural atheist

~ Rejecting the gods of our culture since 1998.

cultural atheist

Monthly Archives: October 2017

It Happened

30 Monday Oct 2017

Posted by braddahr in recovery

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Abuse, Break the silence, healing, help, hope, recovery, Shame

Believe it or not, I used to be a competitive swimmer. I did it for about 2 years. I got my picture in the paper which was cool. I swam a 2 hour, 200 length (5000m), swim-a-thon for some charity and then discovered that people who sponsor kids for events don’t like to pay said kids post event. But I peaked around 10 years of age and moved on to other things, like sleeping in because I didn’t have to go to the pool at 6am.  It’s about priorities.

Anyway, one day after swim club, I was in the changing room and a man with a disability approached me. He was difficult to understand but he seemed friendly. He stuck out his hand for what I thought was a handshake. I went to shake his hand and he proceeded to grab my hand and then he started to undo his pants. I was frozen – shocked by what was happening – and then he put my hand on his crotch.

The incident ended in moments. I pulled my hand away, grabbed my stuff and headed for the door. My mom was waiting for me. I told her what happened.  She told the staff who promptly took action. I’m grateful for my mom who I could talk to. I’m grateful that I didn’t have to keep it secret due to fear of that man or even fear or shame from my parents.

Even so, I don’t talk about it. This is the first time I’ve written about it. When I remember it, I still feel that sense of being trapped and powerless, I still feel my own shame. I decided to take this journey into my past and to share it here because it has become crystal clear to me that when we are hurt like this (and I recognize my experience was really minor compared to most), silence and shame are just as harmful as the initial abuse. They feed it, let the past hold us captive, prevent us from healing.

I would never say one who has been hurt must speak about it. Each person should be in charge of their own healing journey. I would say, don’t let silence hurt you more than already have been. 

I also want you to know I’m listening and I believe you. 

Do You Realize

23 Monday Oct 2017

Posted by braddahr in Discovery, Observations, questions

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Loveable

Do you realize that it is not your perfect behaviour – your having it all together, your responsibility, or good character that makes you loveable?

Also, do you understand that it’s not in spite of your mistakes and failures – like you have to be put up with – that you are loveable?

The truth is, you’re loveable because of your mistakes, your awkward moments, and your failures; when you’re struggling to be vulnerable and trying to be real.

7 Ways to Uplift Your Mood — MakeItUltra™

16 Monday Oct 2017

Posted by braddahr in Observations

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This is a really helpful post from MakeItUltra. Some really good practices you can use when life gets you down.

 

By Eric Perry, PhD-c Audio version | Click here “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” ~Albert Einstein We all have bad days. Have you ever had the kind of day that makes you think, “What is it all about?” We might start questioning our jobs and even […]

via 7 Ways to Uplift Your Mood — MakeItUltra™

Pink is for Girls

12 Thursday Oct 2017

Posted by braddahr in Discovery, Observations

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Boys, Gender, Girls, Marketing, Pay Inequality, Pink Tax

I recently shared a post called Blue is for Boys. This is the follow up to that post. I have been listening to the radio program called Under the Influence.  It’s about marketing, advertising, sponsorship and how these things impact our world.  A two part episode in their last season concerned gender marketing. I encourage you to check out their site and listen to the whole episode.

In my last post, I shared how the blue for boys and pink for girls is an arbitrarily chosen, marketing concept to sell more and more product.  The argument is, this has also given ride to the so called Pink Tax.

The Pink Tax is the documented higher prices, really overcharging for products and services marketed to women that are essentially the same as “men’s” products. In the US, there are a few states that have outlawed Pink Tax but there are not consumer protections like that in Canada.

Here are some specifics quoted in the Under the Influence episode:

  • Girls toys cost more than boys toys 55% of the time.
  • Girls clothing cost more than boys clothing 26% of the time.
  • Women’s clothing costs more than men’s clothing over 40% of the time.
  • Drycleaners tend to charge more to service the same sized, same material blouse than for a man’s shirt.
  • Senior home health care for women costs more 45% of the time.
  • Women routinely pay over 25% more for haircuts than men.
  • Vehicle repairs: women are generally quoted higher estimates than men for the exact same work.
  • Women pay up to 48% more for shampoos, 11% more for razors and lotions, and 6% for body washes.

Why do women allow themselves to be manipulated this way? The argument is, people like and will spend more for products and services they perceive to be made just for them. The thing is, almost all of the time, it’s all just marketing smoke and mirrors.

Now here’s the insult to injury: Under the Influences notes women tend to purchase these products and services more often than men and they are doing so often with less money because of pay inequity!

When I see this, it’s like a whole system designed to be oppressive to women – but that would be crazy, right?

Fall Fit Challenge – Week 5 Recap

10 Tuesday Oct 2017

Posted by braddahr in Observations

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Here is my Fall Fit Challenge week 5 recap. I am continuously updating the original Fall Fitness Challenge post with each day’s exercises.  Save that page and refresh it often to see the next exercises and sets.

Week 5 was a little different as I encouraged everyone to take this week and pursue active rest. Run, swim, go for walks or a mountain hike.

 

Blue is for Boys

09 Monday Oct 2017

Posted by braddahr in Discovery, Observations

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Culture, Gender, Marketing, Programming

I’ve recently shared how I have been enjoying a radio program called Under the Influence.  It’s about marketing, advertising, sponsorship and how these things impact our world. I binge listened to all their seasons over a long drive. So far, I have noticed no ill effects from doing so.

A two part episode in their last season was really fascinating. The topic was gender marketing. I encourage you to check out their site and listen to the whole episode. There was one part that really jumped out at me.

Did you know that the blue for boys and pink for girls is a manufactured concept to sell more product?  The story goes, a hundred years ago kids clothes up to seven years old were white. With the development of department stores, boy and girl departments were introduced and not long after, colour was used to define gender. Arbitrarily, pink, a “strong colour” was for boys and blue, a “gentle colour” was for girls.

Yes, you read that right: Boys = Pink, Girls = Blue.

It’s suspected that the introduction of gendered colours was to make hand me downs between boy and girl siblings unattractive and thus promote the purchasing of more and more stuff.

Here’s the twist, decades later, the colours flipped to the now familiar blue is for boys and pink is for girls. Again a completely arbitrary decision.

But people are funny. We like things that we perceive are made for us. Manufacturers, stores, and marketing discovered that “the more stores individualized products, the more they sold.” Remember “It’s strong enough for a man but made for a woman”? Ka-ching!

Of course, if you own a manufacturing business, run a store or make money in marketing, this is good news for you because it generally helps you make more money. For the rest of us, we have to deal with the realization that we are being played.

So next time you’re taking away from/giving something to a child in your life be aware if your actions are based on these arbitrary colours or because they are marketed for boys or girls. It’s possible that you have been programmed to select the “right” item to profit those selling it to you. Even more importantly, you also might want to ask if those programmed choices are helping or limiting your children’s potential.

Check in next time for the follow up post: Pink is For Girls.

 

Fall Fit Challenge – Week 4 Recap

03 Tuesday Oct 2017

Posted by braddahr in Observations

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Here is my Fall Fit Challenge week 4 recap. I am continuously updating the original Fall Fitness Challenge post with each day’s exercises.  Save that page and refresh it often to see the next exercises and sets.

Here are some guidelines:

Do some light, gentle, movements to get the blood flowing before you begin.
Strive to do the number of seconds or reps even if you have to take a break.
Modify as needed but try to keep the exercises difficult.
Focus on keeping your form and engaging your core.

S = seconds so 20s means 20 seconds.
See disclaimer below.

Week 4 – Repeat each set of daily exercises at least 3 (THIS IS NEW) times.

Saturday: Rest.

Friday: Plank 45s, Push Ups 10, Mountain Climbers 30s, Burpees 10, Side Angle Stretch hold for 30 seconds.

Thursday: Cat/Cow Stretch 10 of each, Side Plank 30s, Reverse Snow Angels (no weight) 30s, Shoulder Taps 15 (each time you tap a shoulder = 1), Burpees 10.

Wednesday: Rest

Tuesday: Push Ups 10, Squats 50, Side Planks 45s, Lunges with twist 15 per side

Monday: Plank 45s, Mountain Climbers 30s, Burpees 15, Side Angle Stretch hold for 30 seconds.

Sunday: Plank 45s, Push Ups 10, Squats 40 + Jump Squats 10, Side Plank 45s (both sides) , Reverse Snow Angels (no weight) 20s, Brettzels 30s per side.

 

DISCLAIMER:

Like all those other fitness stuff, make sure you are able to start a beginner to intermediate intensity fitness program. See your doctor if you have any health conditions that could be aggravated, injuries that could be affected, or any medications that may need adjustment. Modify the exercises as needed to ensure they are the correct intensity for you. If at any time you feel sharp pain, experience dizziness or shortness of breath, please stop immediately and get checked out to ensure you’re safe. If you  begin to feel sexy and you want to get amorous with your partner, please go ahead in an appropriate manner and only with their consent.

Memoir Monday—Liar, Liar Pants on Fire? — Cherilyn Christen Clough

02 Monday Oct 2017

Posted by braddahr in Observations

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This is a blog from my friend Cherilyn. Even if your story is different, it’s a must read for the truth it contains.

My Grandma, Veronica (Mellish) Ellis was a writer. No one really knew this outside of the family because she was never published. She just filled out diary after diary, year after year. Who knows how long she had been keeping a faithful diary, but I know she told me once that she wrote something in […]

via Memoir Monday—Liar, Liar Pants on Fire? — Cherilyn Christen Clough

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