Monthly Archives: March 2017

Diversion Tactics – Threats

31 Friday Mar 2017

Posted by in Discovery, Observations, questions, recovery

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Lately, I’ve been discovering common behaviours of Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths. Keep in mind that those are personality disorders and it’s not a good idea to go around labelling people just because they’re jerks. While I’ve been learning, I found an article by  Shahida Arabi at http://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/. Shahida the author of the book She Who Destroys the Light: Fairy Tales Gone Wrong.

I want to highlight a few of the tactics Shadida Arabi includes in her article. Please read the whole article so you can get the full picture.

Toxic people tend to use diversion tactics to escape accountability for their actions and silence you, the target of their abuse. If this is happening to you, I hope you are able to get help and establish healthy boundaries so you may experience hope and healing.

Threats

Toxic people “are prone to making unreasonable demands on others – while punishing you for not living up to their impossible to reach expectations.” To divert you from their abusive behaviour, toxic people will use fear – ultimatums and “do this or I’ll do that.”

“Take threats seriously and show the narcissist you mean business; document threats and report them whenever possible and legally feasible.”

 

Six Common Depression Types

29 Wednesday Mar 2017

Posted by in Observations

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I struggle with depression. I find that exercise, eating healthy, and getting enough sleep help alleviate my depression. Of course, the opposite is true in that it gets worse when I don’t practice self-care. I don’t take medication but I’m not opposed to it. If you haven’t watched it before, “I had a black dog, his name was depression” captures my experiences fairly well.

One the benefits, sort of, of having depression is that I’ve become a team member of  COME2LIFE, a group of youth and young adults who present workshops on mental health for youth. We want to break down the stigma that prevents young people from getting help, finding hope, and experiencing healing. That means I am regularly looking out for information on depression so that I can better understand it myself and share with others for their benefit.

Recently, I came across and article called Six Common Depression Types by Beverly Merz. It’s an interesting article and I suggest you check it out but here’s a very short summary.

“Major depression. The classic depression type, major depression is a state where a dark mood is all-consuming and one loses interest in activities, even ones that are usually pleasurable.

Persistent depressive disorder. Formerly called “dysthymia,” this type of depression refers to low mood that has lasted for at least two years but may not reach the intensity of major depression.

Bipolar disorder. People with bipolar disorder—once known as manic-depressive disease—have episodes of depression. But they also go through periods of unusually high energy or activity. Manic symptoms look like the opposite of depression symptoms: grandiose ideas, unrealistically high self-esteem, decreased need for sleep, thoughts and activity at higher speed, and ramped-up pursuit of pleasure including sex sprees, overspending, and risk taking. Being manic can feel great, but it doesn’t last long, can lead to self-destructive behavior, and is usually followed by a period of depression.

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD). This type of depression emerges as days get shorter in the fall and winter. The mood change may result from alterations in the body’s natural daily rhythms, in the eyes’ sensitivity to light, or in how chemical messengers like serotonin and melatonin function.

Depression types unique to women

  1. Perinatal depression. This type of depression includes major and minor depressive episodes that occur during pregnancy or in the first 12 months after delivery (also known as postpartum depression).
  2. PMDD. This type of depression is a severe form of premenstrual syndrome, or PMS. Symptoms of PMDD usually begin shortly after ovulation and end once menstruation starts.”

Treadmill Sessions

28 Tuesday Mar 2017

Posted by in health, recovery

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Did you know that treadmills were invented as a way to punish prisoners? It makes total sense, doesn’t it?  Maybe you don’t like the mindlessness of it. Maybe you fell off one and now you have distress whenever you look at a treadmill. Fortunately, with modern technology, the treadmill is a blessing… no wait, sorry I can’t say that without laughing. Nobody in their right mind likes the treadmill; it’s a necessary evil for people who like (need) to run and hate cold weather, rain, bugs, cars, dogs, or people.

I confess I run on the treadmill. I actually prefer to run outdoors but not during the winter. As such, I keep an eye out for ways to keep things fresh.

I found this article at triathlete.com. Even if you’re not a triathlete (yet!!) I recommend you check them out for training, gear reviews and race info.

4 Treadmill Sessions For Triathletes

Four purposeful workouts to help you use the treadmill to your training advantage.

Whether you’re waiting for cooler weather to arrive or simply need more of a focus indoors, the treadmill is a useful tool to maximize your run training. Coach Brad Seng of D3 Multisport in Boulder, Colo., designed these quality sessions to keep the fun factor intact for when the treadmill gets daunting or mentally stale.

Buffer Buffs Hill Reps

Warm-up
15’ easy jogging with 4×20’’ bursts and 40’’ easy for recovery at the end

Main set
Repeat the following pattern 3–4 times. Do the strength exercises off to the side of the treadmill.
45’’ hard Zone 3–4/5K effort at 4–6% grade
5 squat jumps
15’’ sprint Zone 5 at 4–6% grade.
20 high knee skips
45’’ moderate Zone 2–3/half-marathon effort at 4–6% grade
10 push-ups
45’’ fast uphill Zone 3/10K effort at 4–6% grade
10 split squat jumps
45’’ moderate Zone 2–3/half-marathon effort at 1% grade
10 double leg hops
1:30 fast Zone 3/10K effort at 1% grade
Walk 2–3’ or stand on edge of treadmill to recover

Cool-down
10’ easy jogging with final 2–3’ walking

Key: ’ = minutes | ” = seconds

 

Ramp-Ups

Warm-up
15–20’ building effort to top of Zone 2/RPE 3–5

Main set
Starting at the speed where you ended your warm-up, increase treadmill speed by 0.5 every quarter-mile until you max out.
Note that speed and then run 5’ easy.
Complete 4–6 × 45’’ intervals at your max. Recovery is 1’ easy jogging.

Cool-down
Easy jogging for remainder of time

Key: ’ = minutes | ” = seconds

 

1’ Efforts + 1K

Warm-up
10–15’ easy with 4×20’’ bursts and 40’’ easy jogging for recovery

Main set
2x(4×1’ moderate/RPE 3–7 with 30’’ rest after each. Include 1K at 5–10K pace after #4 of each set).
Walk/jog easy for 2-3’ between sets.

Cool-down
5-10’ easy

Key: ’ = minutes | ” = seconds

 

Split Tempo Run

Warm-up
15’ easy jogging

Main set
10’ Zone 2/RPE 3–5
5’ Zone 3/RPE 6–8
2’ Zone 1/RPE 1–2
5’ Zone 3/RPE 6–8

Cool-down
10–20’ easy

Key: ’ = minutes | ” = seconds

 

Seng’s Treadmill Tips

– Set treadmill at a 1 percent grade for all runs aside from any specific hill reps. This will ensure you are running closer to the feel of running outdoors.
– Always have a towel and water or electrolyte drink on hand with increased sweat rate.
– If possible, use a small fan to help keep you cooler and more comfortable, and be sure you have good ventilation.
– Don’t “race” your neighbor. Stick to your specific workout and don’t worry about what speed or grade the person next to you is running.
– Include some light stretching after your warm-up and a few minutes of easy walking as a cool-down before you get off the treadmill to re-establish your equilibrium.

5 Benefits of Journaling — MakeItUltra™

27 Monday Mar 2017

Posted by in Observations

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This is another excellent post from MakeItUltra, particularly the gratitude part.

Written by Caitlyn K., MA. (USA) Founder of: Living Without Limits Every therapist always has the same advice: keep a journal. We hear the advice so often, that we often dismiss it as meaningless. However, journaling can be very powerful and healing. Five Benefits of Journaling include (but are not limited to): 1. Externalizing your story […]

via 5 Benefits of Journaling — MakeItUltra™

A Conversation

25 Saturday Mar 2017

Posted by in Discovery, Inspiration, Observations, questions, Spirituality

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I stumbled across this and it’s too good not to share. The reference is at the end. I did a little editing so it makes sense out of it’s original context but the meaning is intact.

Imagine that our Good, Good Father appears visibly among us this evening. How would we speak to him? Or to make it more personal, let us say that he is willing to meet us in our living room. As many of us as could, would go over there and gather around him, just as the crowds did around Jesus—Mary loved to sit there at his feet.

Now, as we walk into the room, we know that God is the all-powerful Creator of the whole vast universe. We know that the mighty angels, sinless as they are, stand overwhelmed with awe and wonder at the majesty and glory of our God. Yet, though that all be true, if we are afraid to go in, then God has failed to convince us of the truth about himself. And Jesus has failed to convince us, not just with his words, but with what he has demonstrated to be true when he was here, that God is infinitely powerful, but equally gracious, and there is no need to be afraid. How could we turn down what he has paid such a price to reveal?

God is seated there and we are gathered around him. What should we say? Should we be the first to speak? Once we have started speaking, would we talk all the time? Or would we let God speak for a while? Normally, when we pray we do all the talking, don’t we? And then we say Amen, and go about our business, or go to sleep. It would be like meeting in the room with our Heavenly Father, and talking to him incessantly for several minutes, and then saying, “Amen, thank you very much,” and then going home. It wouldn’t make sense, would it? It certainly wouldn’t be conversation as with a friend.

Supposing we should have the inestimable privilege of talking there freely with God the Father for a whole hour; would it be appropriate at the end for someone among us to arise and say, “This has been such a special occasion, don’t you think we ought to close this meeting with a word of prayer?” Or would it be correct to understand that talking, conversing, having conversation with our God as with a Friend for that whole hour actually is real prayer, and we have been praying the whole hour long?

Conversation means at least two people speaking. But how do we converse with God when we can’t see him just now, because of the present emergency? We all understand that emergency and why in mercy he does not reveal himself visibly to us at this moment. And so, the Bible is called the Word of God—God speaking to us. If we wish to hear God speak, except in most extraordinary occasions, God speaks to us through the Bible. We speak to him in prayer.

Truly, as someone has said, “We commune with God through the study of the Scriptures.” I certainly find prayer much more meaningful while reading the Bible. Have you ever had the experience of talking to God while reading certain parts of the Scriptures? Have you ever found yourself talking out loud, “That’s magnificent!”? Who are you talking to? But that’s real conversation. We read, we listen in that way. And then we talk back to God.

Graham Maxwell. Excerpt from the audio series, Conversations About God, #15, “Talking to God as a Friend” recorded May, 1984, Loma Linda, California. 

 

 

3 Strength Exercises That Are a Waste of Your Time

24 Friday Mar 2017

Posted by in health, recovery

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Good mental health is supported by being active. For me, that means preparing for and participating in triathlons. I found an article in Triathlete magazine called: 3 Strength Exercises That Are a Waste of Your Time.  I encourage you to read the whole article for their reasons and the benefits to the alternative exercises they suggest. Here’s just the highlights:

 

Don’t: Calf Raises

Do: One-Leg Hop

Don’t: Smith Machine Squats

Do: Regular Squats

Don’t: Curls

Do: Pull-up/Chin-up

 

7 Healing Affirmations For Survivors Of Narcissistic Abuse

22 Wednesday Mar 2017

Posted by in health, Observations, recovery

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I found this article called  “7 Healing Affirmations For Victims Of Narcissistic Abuse”. Here are some of the key thoughts I gained from it but I recommend you read the whole article.

Remember that just because someone is a selfish jerk doesn’t mean he or she has a narcissist disorder. It’s not a good idea to go around labelling people. However, if you have been abused by a narcissist or you have been hurt by narcissistic behaviours, I hope this article assists you as you purse help, hope, and healing.

Becoming from of abuse is a journey and healing can take time. Repeating a series of affirmations out loud can aid in your recovery.

  • I am healing slowly, but surely, day by day, one step at a time.
  • I am putting the past well and truly behind me to focus on the present and future.
  • I am a loveable person who deserves the care, affection, and respect of others.
  • I know and trust my own mind.
  • I have firm boundaries and the strength to stick to them.
  • I have the full support of my friends and/or family.

 

How to Overcome Feeling Guilty — MakeItUltra™

20 Monday Mar 2017

Posted by in Observations

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Guilt is healthy but it’s meant to move us forward and grow. What happens if you get stuck? Check out this post from MakeItUltra.

Written by Eric C., MA., PhD Candidate (USA) Founder of: MakeItUltra™ Website: MakeItUltraPsychology.com “Every moment spent in unhappiness is a moment of happiness lost.” ~Leo Buscaglia 1. Recognize where the guilt is coming from Is there something you did or are still doing to contribute to your feelings of guilt? If so, what steps are you taking to […]

via How to Overcome Feeling Guilty — MakeItUltra™