Another great insight from Shannon Thomas’ book, “Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.”
14 Tuesday Feb 2017
Posted health, Observations, recoveryin
13 Monday Feb 2017
MakeItUltra™ Founder: Eric C., MA., PhD Candidate (USA) Website: MotivateInspireUplift.com “How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”~ Henry David Thoreau” 1. You are often jealous of others If you have a tendency to look at others with envy it may be time to make a change. Harold Coffin […]
10 Friday Feb 2017
I’ve shared before that I’m a fan of Brené Brown and her work on shame, vulnerability and authenticity. So this statement from Shannon Thomas really resonated with me.
Check out Shannon Thomas’ book, “Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.”
08 Wednesday Feb 2017
Posted Discovery, health, Observations, recoveryin
Abuse, healing, help, hope, narcissist, recovery, relationships, toxic
Lately, I’ve been discovering common behaviours of Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths. Keep in mind that those are personality disorders and it’s not a good idea to go around labelling people just because they’re jerks. These posts will cover just a few common behaviours that might alert you to possible mistreatment. Please check the link at the bottom for the full list. If these things are happening to you, please seek help so you can have hope and healing.
The following is a summary from an article by by Shahida Arabi at http://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/. Shahida Arabi is a poet and the author of the book She Who Destroys the Light: Fairy Tales Gone Wrong.
Toxic people such as malignant narcissists, psychopaths and those with antisocial traits engage in maladaptive behaviors in relationships that ultimately exploit, demean and hurt their intimate partners, family members and friends. They use a plethora of diversionary tactics that distort the reality of their victims and deflect responsibility. Although those who are not narcissistic can employ these tactics as well, abusive narcissists use these to an excessive extent in an effort to escape accountability for their actions. Here are diversionary tactics toxic people use to silence and degrade you.
Moving Goal Posts
The difference between constructive criticism and destructive criticism is the presence of a personal attack and impossible standards. These so-called “critics” often don’t want to help you improve, they just want to nitpick, pull you down and scapegoat you in any way they can. Abusive narcissists and sociopaths employ a logical fallacy known as “moving the goalposts” in order to ensure that they have every reason to be perpetually dissatisfied with you. This is when, even after you’ve provided all the evidence in the world to validate your argument or taken an action to meet their request, they set up another expectation of you or demand more proof.
By raising the expectations higher and higher each time or switching them completely, highly manipulative and toxic people are able to instill in you a pervasive sense of unworthiness and of never feeling quite “enough.” By pointing out one irrelevant fact or one thing you did wrong and developing a hyperfocus on it, narcissists get to divert from your strengths and pull you into obsessing over any flaws or weaknesses instead. They get you thinking about the next expectation of theirs you’re going to have to meet – until eventually you’ve bent over backwards trying to fulfill their every need – only to realize it didn’t change the horrific way they treated you.
Don’t get sucked into nitpicking and changing goal posts – if someone chooses to rehash an irrelevant point over and over again to the point where they aren’t acknowledging the work you’ve done to validate your point or satisfy them, their motive isn’t to better understand. It’s to further provoke you into feeling as if you have to constantly prove yourself. Validate and approve of yourself. Know that you are enough and you don’t have to be made to feel constantly deficient or unworthy in some way.
07 Tuesday Feb 2017
Posted health, Observations, recoveryin
06 Monday Feb 2017
MakeItUltra™ Founder: Eric C., MA., PhD Candidate (USA) Website: MotivateInspireUplift.com “A lot of the time codependency looks like intense love, but “needing” another person often stems from fear, not love.” ~Jennifer Kass 1. You feel like you will die without the other person The first time I ever experienced what I would call true love, I […]
03 Friday Feb 2017
It seemed like an ideal relationship to Rachel Ashley because her boyfriend attended church, but after 2-and-a-half rocky years, he dumped her. “He told me he didn’t love me anymore.” The Filipina American Youtuber with 5.5 million views confesses she lashed out at God for the heart-rending breakup. “It totally broke me and I ended […]
via How to recover from a breakup, Rachel Ashley explains — Mustard Seed Budget
02 Thursday Feb 2017
Posted health, Observationsin
As I have been sharing my journey to wellness, I wrote about my switch from a meat and potatoes diet to just potatoes… and nuts, and fruit, and many other vegetables .
When people ask about my diet and I tell them I’m plant-based, no meat, there are two typical responses. One is something along the lines of not getting enough protein. The other is usually a comment about how they tried it once and had troubles with finding things to eat. I am a classic picky eater and I switched to a plant-based life in Yellowknife, NT – Canada’s frozen north. If I had no issues having a healthy balanced diet, no one should. Does that sound judgmental? #sorrynotsorry
As far as protein is concerned, if a person is eating a balanced diet and not starving themselves, a plant-based diet provides enough protein. In fact, the real concern is meat eaters get too much protein and don’t get enough fibre – a double whammy.
I will admit that when I first made the switch, I used various plant-based powders mixed into smoothies. I was figuring out what to do but now I don’t buy that stuff. The only supplements I take are B12, just in case, and D.
So what do I eat now? I have a fairly simple diet and I’m still a picky eater but here are some standards:
Oatmeal with raisins, chia, flax, and hemp. Just add hot water but sometimes I get a green tea from Starbucks and use that with a little coconut sugar or maple syrup.
Smoothie with banana, avocado, spinach, kale, broccoli and carrot, mixed berries, chia, flax, hemp, ginger. I make a white, hibiscus, and red tea mix with lemon that I use for the liquid part of the smoothie.
Bean burrito that I copied from Taco Time. I even buy their little containers of hot sauce. Lately, I have been sprinkling chia and flax on the beans. It’s pretty good.
Indian food like chana masala, vegetarian samosa, rice, dahl (or dal?).
Some salads as long as they don’t have weird things in them, like bell peppers.
Apples, oranges, dried fruit.
Nuts and seeds – brazil, pistachio, almond, sunflower, pumpkin (plus the chia and flax noted above).
Something we call chipotle dinner that we ripped off from Chipotle. Black beans, cilantro lime rice, and safritas (sp?) which is a tofu tomato sauce mix. Mouth watering. Some people add gaucamole, salsa and lettuce but why ruin a good thing?
Avocado (sushi) roll with ginger and wasabi (this is totally new to me).
There is a local vegetarian Vietnamese place called The Veggie Garden that makes “beef” and broccoli that is incredible. They also make a lemon “chicken” that’s so good I could eat the whole thing. That place is dangerous to my waistline…
Spaghetti with a homemade sauce and sometimes meatless meatballs* that are really good. Otherwise it’s just pasta and sauce.
Baked/roasted potatoes. Of course. I also have a weakness for french fries especially those from Red Robin.
*I try not to eat too many of the meat substitute products as I’m trying to keep the processed food to a minimum.
01 Wednesday Feb 2017
Posted health, Observations, recoveryin
As part of my health and wellness journey, also know as “the keep Brad sane plan,” I check in with physiotherapists, chiropractors, and massage therapists and ask them to perform their magic on me. Since moving to our new location, I have become a patient, and dare I say friend, of Dr. Shenaigh Newman (on Twitter @drshenaigh) a chiropractor who practices at ChiroCare Centre in Edmonton.
I tease Dr. Newman about being my witch doctor but I have really appreciated her help with a handful of injuries I have had. I like how she’s patient focused, doesn’t take herself too seriously, and she laughs at my jokes. Recently, I had the crazy idea that I would interview her about being healthy and share her answers with all of you so that we can both become internet famous.
These are the last five of ten questions. You should read the first five if you missed them.
BD: Let’s say I’m not injured, should I come see you anyway?
SN: I am a firm believer in something called “maintenance care.” Most of my patients live very active lifestyles either at work or at home and in order to continue doing what they love, they find that seeing me every month or so can really enhance their performance or help them stay pain-free. For example, I have a patient who used to get migraines once a week. Once she started to see me the migraines went away. She now comes in every six weeks for preventative treatment and no longer gets migraines. Once she missed an appointment because she was sick and the next week, her migraine returned. Now this doesn’t mean that every patient would respond like this but it is what this patient has found works for her.
I also find that if I am seeing someone on a fairly regular basis then if they do get injured somehow, then they tend to respond to the treatment quicker than if I hadn’t seen them in awhile. For patients like you that are really active, I find that they benefit from seeing me every few weeks so I can check how everything is moving and help prevent injury if there is some dysfunction building that may cause pain in the future.
BD: If someone wanted to fight crime, what key exercises should they do? I’m asking for a friend.
SN: Not the Superman! A superhero requires a lot of strength and stamina so focus on any exercises that work the muscles while giving them a good cardio workout as well.
BD: Do you see different injuries between men and women? What can we learn from each other?
SN: I find that traditionally women come in a lot sooner than men do when they start feeling pain. I’ll usually need less treatments with women because they’re not as bad as when the men come in. Women also usually listen better and will do the education or rehab exercises I prescribe them. Usually my male patients come in with an acute pain (from shovelling or lifting something at work) where they cannot move and their wife made them come in or I see them with chronic pain (usually from doing something at the gym) and their wife was sick of hearing their husband complain and they make them come in. Either way, they’re usually really happy when I can help them out!
BD: As a patient, how can I make your life easier?
SN: Referrals always help! Also reviewing me and the clinic on Google and Facebook would be awesome. The best form of advertising is word-of-mouth! I really love what I do and want to be able to help as many people as I possibly can.
BD: When you become a rich and famous chiropractor, do you think that will change you?
SN: Of course. Mansions and Ferrari’s all around. Haha! But honestly- I went into this profession to help people, not make money so I hope that I can continue to do that throughout my career.
I hope this interview was helpful as you pursue your journey towards health and wellness.