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cultural atheist

~ Rejecting the gods of our culture since 1998.

cultural atheist

Monthly Archives: November 2016

Sugar, Periods & Me: Why Choose a Refined Sugar Free Lifestyle — Run into the Green

30 Wednesday Nov 2016

Posted by braddahr in Observations

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This is a great post. I can’t totally relate to this but I am working on reducing refined sugars and I know people who have “issues” and they might appreciate the info. I hope it helps.

 

A down and dirty (bloody?) look at why sugar makes you fat + hormonally imbalanced. Definitely autobiographical. May contain emotional nakedness.

via Sugar, Periods & Me: Why Choose a Refined Sugar Free Lifestyle — Run into the Green

Take Time For Self-Reflection — Jay Colby

29 Tuesday Nov 2016

Posted by braddahr in Observations

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“Self-reflection is a humbling process. It’s essential to find out why you think, say and do certain things” Taking time to self-reflect is important to relieve stress from our daily lives. The process of bringing our inner thoughts, road-blocks and wishes to the forefront can benefit our personal growth. When we self-reflect we gain not […]

via Take Time For Self-Reflection — Jay Colby

4 Tips For Blogging Success — Jay Colby

28 Monday Nov 2016

Posted by braddahr in Observations

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With the number of bloggers increasing daily there are always many questions we have when we first start blogging. Whether you’ve created your blog as a creative outlet or for the chance to make substantial revenue or acknowledgement we all want more traffic and great content. Many of us have the dream to one day […]

via 4 Tips For Blogging Success — Jay Colby

For My Mom

27 Sunday Nov 2016

Posted by braddahr in Beginnings

≈ 4 Comments

Happy birthday, mom. I miss you. 

Crystal Ball

26 Saturday Nov 2016

Posted by braddahr in Observations

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Tags

questions

 If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

So You Want to Wear a Safety Pin — What a Witch

25 Friday Nov 2016

Posted by braddahr in Observations

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For those who wish to stand against hate and abuse, this is must reading.

 

Great. This is a necessary behavior in the face of the election of the most overtly racist, sexist, xenophobic, anti- gender and sexual minority candidate in the history of the modern United States. You know the rhetoric of his campaign was wrong. It was the very worst thing about America and you want to do […]

via So You Want to Wear a Safety Pin — What a Witch

Feel the Weight

24 Thursday Nov 2016

Posted by braddahr in Observations, recovery

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Tags

Abuse, emotional health, Faith, family, health, learning, narcissists, real, relationships

Another great insight from Shannon Thomas’ book, “Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.”

I experienced but it’s true I didn’t catch as it was happening. Only until the person went on a public rant did I become aware of his true nature.

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No Way

23 Wednesday Nov 2016

Posted by braddahr in Discovery, Observations, Spirituality

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Tags

Abuse, emotional health, narcissism, recovery, relationships, suicide prevention, trauma

Have you ever sat down to write and you’re filled with dread at the thought of digging through memories?

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One year ago today, I was asked to meet with a young adult, a member of a church I was pastoring, who was in a great deal of distress and unwilling to talk with or get help from their family. In fact, they wanted complete confidentiality.

We met a couple days later and as I sat with this harmed, hurting, and hope lacking person I made a commitment to them that, come what may, I would do whatever I could to help them not just stay alive but rediscover life. I instantly knew that it would not be an easy journey and that it was going to cost me personally and professionally but I determined not to waiver or shrink back.

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Initially, I simply arranged for access to professional counselling. Until it started, I asked for permission to check in with the person on a regular basis until the counselling began. Little did I know during that first meeting that this person would take a piece of my heart and shortly thereafter, my wife’s heart, too. Over time, the person became a friend and even as one of our own children. We nicknamed the person Velveteen Rabbit; one who was day by day determining to become a real person who could be unconditionally loved and boldly love others.

 

What a journey it was. I was able to draw on my experience and knowledge and at other times I was totally ill equipped and over my head. I was strategic and thoughtful but sometimes flying by the seat of my pants and blurting things out. I dug deep into my well of patience and compassion and faith-based strength even so, along the way I developed sleep and anxiety disorders from which I’m still trying to recover. I was able to provide a great deal of recovery support while sometimes adding to our friend’s distress when my own woundedness spilled out. And then there was prayer. Lots and lots of prayer.

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There were some really scary times, times when we weren’t sure the person would be alive the next day. There was some really good times, too many to recount here but when I remember them I smile and feel deep joy. Along the way, I rediscovered the game UNO and was introduced to two others. Our friend was pretty cocky at being excellent at these games so it was always very difficult to be gracious when I soundly beat them. I would just smile ever so slightly…

It was beautiful to see our Velveteen Rabbit take steps towards life. Sometimes slowly and haltingly, other times confidently and boldly. Like all recovery there were relapses but we would be there and help them get back on their feet. Many times we were just a safe place away from a toxic home (their words) and an unkind world; we have a big blue comfy recliner and that was VR’s favourite spot when sanctuary was needed.

Sadly, our part in our friends journey has come to an end for now, perhaps forever. My wife has fleeting, few and far between, contacts. Not a day goes by when I don’t have a little tremor of worry for our friend. I still pray for our Velveteen Rabbit all the time.

As for me, I was fairly accurate in my assessment of how the journey would impact me. Eventually, most of the story was revealed to our friend’s family. They didn’t appreciate our involvement. I was compared to Satan. It was really confusing to me. As a parent, my focus would be on helping my child not attacking people that were helping them and shrieking about how I was offended. I am careful not to use labels but I’m pretty sure I encountered an actual narcissist. My career was jeopardized, I was accused of terrible things, and there was a definite and deliberate attempt to destroy my reputation and assassinate my character. The upside is, I think I’m better equipped if I run into that kind of abuse again. On the downside, at least once of day I get little anxiety attacks from that experience.

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Here’s the thing: As I look back on the last year, I regret nothing. Sure, I have confusion, doubts, and sometimes I feel like I really failed. But if God came to me and asked, “Brad, now that you know what’s going to happen, do you want to go back and stop it from happening?”

I would say with all my heart, “No way.”

Let Me Have One More 

23 Wednesday Nov 2016

Posted by braddahr in Inspiration, Observations, Spirituality

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Desmond Doss, Faith, Movie, prayer, Rescue, Tired

We saw “Hacksaw Ridge.”  It was moving, powerful, inspiring, and heart wrenching. There was one part – a key moment in the story – that really resonated with me. I’ll get to that in a minute.

hacksaw_ridge_poster
I’m not saying you have to see it but I highly recommend it. Note that the battle scenes are very realistic; no lie I closed my eyes several times.

“Hacksaw Ridge” is based on the true story of Desmond Doss. I’ve known about him for over 10 years after watching the documentary “The Conscientious Objector.” In a nutshell, Doss wanted to serve in the army as a medic during Word War II but due to his faith, he would not carry a gun.  Initially opposed and bullied by his commanding officers and squad, Doss gained their respect over time such that they waited for him to pray before commencing an attack. Due to his incredible bravery, Doss, “became the first and only conscientious objector to receive the Medal of Honor in World War II.” You can read his story here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desmond_Doss but here’s an excerpt:

“Pfc. Doss refused to seek cover and remained in the fire-swept area with the many stricken, carrying all 75 casualties one-by-one to the edge of the escarpment and there lowering them on a rope-supported litter down the face of a cliff to friendly hands. On May 2, he exposed himself to heavy rifle and mortar fire in rescuing a wounded man 200 yards forward of the lines on the same escarpment; and 2 days later he treated 4 men who had been cut down while assaulting a strongly defended cave, advancing through a shower of grenades to within eight yards of enemy forces in a cave’s mouth, where he dressed his comrades’ wounds before making 4 separate trips under fire to evacuate them to safety.”

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During the horror of the battle, as he ran again and again into the battle to rescue the wounded, Doss kept praying over and over, “Lord, let me have one more.”

Few of us will ever face what Doss and the other soldiers faced that day. Few of us will risk our lives under a hail of gunfire and mortars to save another life. But some of us who desire to help the emotionally wounded and the spiritually broken have thrown ourselves into the battle of life. We become tired, battered, and sorrowful. It would be easy to give up, to focus on less important things. When that happens, may we too pray that prayer: Lord, let me have one more.

 

Great Value

22 Tuesday Nov 2016

Posted by braddahr in Inspiration, Observations, Spirituality

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Tags

Bible, christianity, health, Jesus Christ, learning, life, Parables, recovery, relationships, treasure

Have you heard about the parables of the hidden treasure and the pearl of great value? When Matthew wrote his perspective on the Good News about Jesus Christ, he gathered a bunch of Jesus’ parables in Matthew 13. This is how they go…

“The Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure that a man discovered hidden in a field. In his excitement, he hid it again and sold everything he owned to get enough money to buy the field. “Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a merchant on the lookout for choice pearls. When he discovered a pearl of great value, he sold everything he owned and bought it!”

The typical approach to these parables that I have heard is: Be that guy! Sell everything, be willing to give up everything, so you can gain the kingdom.

Truly, the kingdom is worth everything and anything we give up pales in comparison to it. Truly, we don’t want anything between us and God, for those people and things are idols.

But there are two problems with the typical approach. First, that’s not what the text is saying which is huge but the bigger problem is even worse. When we take that approach, we push ourselves towards legalism; it’s about earning the kingdom which is a gift from God. The good news becomes good advice.

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So what’s it saying?

Right before these parable, Jesus says, “The Kingdom of Heaven is like a farmer who planted good seed in his field.” Then he talks about an enemy who sows weeds in the field.  Eventually, both wheat and weeds are harvested and then sorted. Right after these parables, Jesus says, “…the Kingdom of Heaven is like a fishing net that was thrown into the water and caught fish of every kind.” The fisherman pulls the fish onto the shore and sorts the catch into good fish and bad fish.

In both these parables, as in all scripture, we see two groups: There are those who have embraced God’s acceptance and love and are resting in his grace, and there are those who have persistently remained indifferent, resisted, or outright rejected God’s acceptance and love. The second group are eventually given over to their heart’s desires.

What all this means is that the hidden treasure and the pearl of great value are not things you are supposed to strive for and sacrifice for!

They are you!

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They are you and me and the one who buys the field and the pearls so he can have the what he values above all else is… Jesus.  Under the shadow of the cross he couldn’t see beyond the portal of the tomb. He thought it was a one way trip. And yet, he stayed the course; fought the battle, gave up everything, and ransomed you from the enemy of life. These parables tell us that we are infinite worth and value to God.

Yes, we’re broken and hurting and angry and stubborn but we have love and belonging with God because he treasurers us; gave everything to rescue us.

Here’s the great big idea I want you to take away from this. When you’re in pain, overwhelmed, thinking you’ve run out of options, people will probably say: remember that your friends love you, your family loves you, God loves you. ALL TRUE.

But I don’t think that’s going to get you through.

Instead you need to see your infinite worth and value in God and… Love yourself.

You need to love yourself enough to ask for help.
You need to love yourself enough to hold on to hope.
You need to love yourself enough to seek healing.

You need to love yourself enough hold on one more day… after all, it’s always just one day at a time.

 

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