The Beatles song, “Eleanor Rigby” had an impact on me in my early years. One line that still cuts to my heart is:

“Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name. Nobody came…”

I’ve wondered who would show up for my funeral. Of course, when I’m dead, it won’t really matter if zero or 1000 people show up because, well, I’m dead and I won’t know either way. Really it’s about significance and making a difference. Apparently, regardless of one’s walk of life, that’s a universal end of life lament – did I matter?

Recently, I became aware through a new friend that I’m forgettable. I joked about it but it stung a bit; when you pour heart and soul into something you want people to remember you a little, right? Then I realized this is a contradiction for me. A big part of what I do is help other people shine from the background – why should it then upset me fade into the background? I think it has to do with selfishness and gaining validation from others. Kind of makes it hypocritical for me to say, “Give God ALL the glory.”

So, I’ve decided I will become okay with being forgettable. It’s not going to be easy but I’ve already got lots of experience.